Oh, Those Pigs!!!

  1. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
    (Do they look different reversed?)

    Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
    (A brick??)

    The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
    (Much worse than "going blind!")

    There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
    (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

    In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
    (Ah! Justice!)

    Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.
    (But of course!)

    In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
    (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

    In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
    (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

    In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
    (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)

    A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
    (In my next life I want to be a pig)

    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
    (Still not over that pig thing)

    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
    (Hummm....I won't touch THAT one!)

    The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
    (From drinking little bottles of...? -- did the govt. pay for this research??)

    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (In my next life I STILL want to be a pig ... quality over quantity)

    Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Ah, geez)

    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
    (I know some people like that.)

    Starfish don't have brains.
    (I know some people like that too)

    After reading all these, all I can say is....... Damn those Pigs
    •  
  2. 11 Comments

  3. by   Shamrock
    :chuckle :chuckle
  4. by   RNIAM
    Too funny. Where does everyone find these things.
  5. by   Jay-Jay
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    we get em in our email. very funny. thanks for sharing.
  7. by   Ted
    :chuckle :roll :chuckle

    Pigs. . . . that's why they seem so happy-go-lucky . . .
  8. by   ScarlettRN
    Now if I could only come up with a good punch line for crossing a pig and a lion....
  9. by   gwenith
    ______________________________________________
    Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
    (A brick??)
    ______________________________________________


    Perhaps it is a test to see if they are really dead - drop a brick on the genitals........... Nope this one is still alive!

  10. by   nowplayingEDRN
    Gotta love them pigs
  11. by   RNIAM
    Maybe rigor mortis has something to do with the brick thing? tee hee
  12. by   mandykal
    Quote from ScarlettRN
    In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
    (Do they look different reversed?)

    Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
    (A brick??)

    The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
    (Much worse than "going blind!")

    There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
    (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

    In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
    (Ah! Justice!)

    Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.
    (But of course!)

    In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
    (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

    In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
    (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

    In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
    (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)

    A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
    (In my next life I want to be a pig)

    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
    (Still not over that pig thing)

    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
    (Hummm....I won't touch THAT one!)

    The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
    (From drinking little bottles of...? -- did the govt. pay for this research??)

    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (In my next life I STILL want to be a pig ... quality over quantity)

    Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Ah, geez)

    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
    (I know some people like that.)

    Starfish don't have brains.
    (I know some people like that too)

    After reading all these, all I can say is....... Damn those Pigs
    .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .....................
    Last edit by mandykal on Mar 6, '04
  13. by   mandykal
    .................................................. .................................................. ........................Sorry people, I delete my post for reasons..................................
    Last edit by mandykal on Mar 6, '04

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