Of Cats and Children

  1. Here are a few thoughts on having a houseful of both:

    1) Cats and children both have loud voices at one end, and for a time at least, no responsibility at the other. However, cats catch on much quicker to the litter box than kids do to the toilet.

    2) That said, cats never do learn to clean their own facilities, while children can be trained to swab out the commode. (It doesn't mean they will actually do it, though.)

    3) Children grow up and leave you. Cats only do that if the food is better next door.

    4) Both cats and children knock over your collectibles, vomit on your bed, make messes in the living room, and fuss endlessly about food. And you can't make either species understand why these things drive you up the wall.

    5) Cats never flunk PE, talk back, get suspended from school, embarrass you, or behave in public as if they've never seen you before. Nor will you ever overhear cats say nasty things about you to their friends, have to sit with them for endless hours while they do homework, or teach them about condoms.

    6) On the other hand, children don't usually clump together on top of you at night, preventing you from turning over in bed, or scramble up your back and sink their claws into your shoulder blade, just out of reach, while you're trying to e-mail your best friend.

    7) Cats do not attempt stunts like cramming four rolls of toilet paper down the john and flushing the whole mess, causing a third of the city's water supply to rush out onto your bathroom carpet.

    8) By contrast, children are unlikely to prance on your curtain valance and cause the whole thing to crash to the floor at four in the morning.

    9) Cats, like children, are unpredictable.......they answer to their names, but sometimes pretend they didn't hear you........look guilty when they've done something wrong.......would rather fight to the death than submit to a bath or a shot.......but they also give you their sweetest love when they know you're sad, and they don't mind when you're sick and look like hell.

    10) Children, like cats, don't always know or care what's in their best interests.........take stupid risks that endanger life and limb.........treat other peoples' things and feelings carelessly.........stay out late without wasting a moment's concern for the ones who wait up until all hours worrying about them........and have absolutely no comprehension of life before they were born.

    11) Cats groom themselves, keep you warm when the nights are long, listen to your music without making fun of it, watch you exercise without laughing, don't complain when you take a picture of them, and need nothing more than a patch of warm sunlight and a friendly lap to make them happy.

    12) Children become human beings who can hurt you worse than anyone else......or they can make you feel sorry for anyone who isn't their parent as you watch them walk across the stage to receive their diploma, march down the aisle on the arm of their new spouse, graduate from boot camp, or bring another generation into the world.
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  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   nekhismom
    very nice. Thanks for sharing.
  4. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    Excellent! Publishable!!!!

    Did you do this? It needs to be submitted for publication--why deprive the world!!!

    As the mother of both species (and two others), thanks!
  5. by   Dave ARNP
    Gosh this is a little too true for words....

    -Dave
  6. by   suzanne4
    You described my two furry kids perfectly AND you never even met them!
    Great job!!!!!
    :hatparty:
  7. by   nurseygrrl
    How awesome! That is so true! I am the proud mommy of 3 feline boys, and one human girl ...you were right on target!
  8. by   angelac1978
    Quote from mjlrn97
    5) Cats never flunk PE, talk back, get suspended from school, embarrass you, or behave in public as if they've never seen you before. Nor will you ever overhear cats say nasty things about you to their friends, have to sit with them for endless hours while they do homework, or teach them about condoms.

    actually, my cat does talk back. Any time she gets scolded or what not, she always has to have the last meow. But she also has a "thank you" meow, which we hear whenever her food bowl gets filled up! :chuckle

    A
  9. by   mtnmom
    I love it!!!
  10. by   VivaLasViejas
    Thanks, everybody. I was just musing about this the other night, and that's when I typed that up. Glad you enjoyed it.
  11. by   CCU NRS
    Seems like you know both species pretty well, I agree with publishability, you send it to a few pet friendly publications.
  12. by   jnette
    Good stuff, there, mjlrn !!! Loved it !

    Thanx for sharing your "musings"....

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