obituary

  1. We mourn the passing of an old friend, Common Sense.
    Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart
    failure on the brink of the new millennium. No one really knows how
    old he
    was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
    tape.

    He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes,
    factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
    For
    decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power
    over
    Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as
    to
    know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm,
    and
    that life isn't always fair.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
    more
    than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in
    charge, not
    the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

    A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
    Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived trends including body
    piercing, whole language, and "new math." But his health declined when
    he
    became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it"
    virus.

    In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages
    of
    well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as
    good
    people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly
    deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance
    policies.

    Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for
    kissing a
    classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch,
    and
    a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his
    condition.
    It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to
    administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when a
    female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

    Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments
    became
    contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better
    treatment
    than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from
    the
    Boy Scouts to professional sports.

    Finally, when a woman, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of
    coffee
    was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the
    towel.

    As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was
    kept
    informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as
    those
    for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.

    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
    wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
    He is
    survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

    Obituary author unknown.
    •  
  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   l.rae
    l LOVE it..........true. soooooooooo true....l'm gonna print this
  4. by   shygirl
    Wow!
  5. by   live4today
    I LIKE THAT! :kiss
  6. by   dharma143
    thank you sunnygirl272 for sharing this! dharma
  7. by   knowlegzseekr
    :kiss :chuckle :roll
  8. by   JAYNE :DANCE:
    That rocked....I will be printing this....Thank-You..... :roll
  9. by   NRSKarenRN
    Love it....off to recirculate round the globe!
  10. by   bandaidexpert
    OMG.....you've met my family!!!!! This rocks!
  11. by   Tookie
    Great - l have put it into my files and it will be discussed

close