Ok , This week is one I am glad is gone. And one I hope I never hope to repeat. It started Monday when my oldest son called me at work to tell me that his aunt, ( my ex-sister-in-law) had just had an accident with a kid on a go kart .
Well, it ended up that the kid 13 yr old female was riding a go kart on a residential street with no helmet, no harness and now no roll bar cage. ( The older sibling torched it off the day before)
The kid went through a stop sign behind some hedges an under the suv that the aunt was driving. Well tragic to say the girl died of multiple traumas. Although, it was stated that the kid died at the hospital, after talking to various witnesses and the aunt, I am convinced she died immediately. The death was not only tragic of a child but it was one that was gruesome, to say the least.
The aunt had a 12 year old girl with her and her 7 year old son. Both of which heard and saw all the events. The kids so far appear to be holding up.
The aunt however, is very depressed, withdrawn and very difficult to deal with. She personally knew the family members of this child and all our kids played together. The aunt and the parents of this kid went to school together as well. Weird...
Anyway, although I have ICU and now trauma experience, I have always been able to stay at a comfortable distance from my patients and families. I think over the years, I still care and am empathetic. I have learned to keep a hard shell to guard my own feelings.
Psch nursing has not been my strong or favored part of nursing.
Anyway, I could use some suggestions here. Even though I am an ex relative. I have managed to maintain a civil relationship with the ex relatives. I still feel the need to jump and help when needed. What do you tell some one who has killed a child. Even though it was not their fault. What are the steps this aunt should take in continuing a normal life that doesnot have the daily reminder that she took a life. She has the added complication of no health insurance and stated to me " THAT GOD THING YOU DO, DOESNOT WORK FOR ME" . I am willing to drive and take part in any couseling needed to help these people get over a traggedy. I have tried to make her see that even though this kid is gone, she unfortunately was the one who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was schedualed to be at the same place on that street but change plans at the last minute.
Even though, this doesnot help now, apparently this kid and the sibblings had been doing this for some time and were informed by neighbors . ANd the mother was also telephoned about this risky behavior by neighbors. This was turely an avoidable event.
But, this knowledge doesnot bring the teenager back, and it will not take away how the
family feels and how the aunt now feels.
If anyone can give me some good advice, please let me know here or privately.