Notice to people who visit my home...
1. The dog lives here...you don't.
2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. Yes, she has some disgusting habits. So do I and so do you. What's your point?
4. OF COURSE, she smells like a dog.
5. It's her nature to try to sniff your crotch. Please feel free to
6. I like her a lot better than I like most people.
7. To you she's a dog. To me she's an adopted child, who is short,
hairy, walks on all fours, doesn't speak clearly, and hates cats. I have no problem with any of these things.
7-a. Actually, she is my partner. I spend more waking time with her than I do the rest of my family. I trust her implicitly.
8. Dogs are better than kids: they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about whether they have the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant you can sell the pups.
Apr 4, '03
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole ives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me!
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By
the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Chihuaha: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can someone else do it? I've got this hangover...
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
German Shepherd: All right everyone, stop where you are! Who busted the light? I said, "Stop where you are!"
Hound Dog: ZZZZZzzzzz
Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?
Last edit by gwenith on Apr 4, '03