Newest Medications for Women
DAMITOL: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
St. MOM's WORT: Plant extract that treat's mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
PEPTOBIMBO: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breeast size, decreases intelligence, and imporves flirting.
DUMEROL: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.
FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of communters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN: Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "you make me want to be a better person.....can we get naked now"?
BUY-AGRA: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending sprees.
JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache cause by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversay or phone number.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to shre their life stories with total strangers.
SEXCEDRIN: More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now dear, I have a headache" syndrome.
RAGAMET: Whken administered to a husband, provided the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.