New elements on the periodic table

  1. This made me giggle. Hope that you enjoy it, too!

    TWO NEW ADDITIONS TO
    THE PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS

    Element Name: WOMANIUM
    Symbol: WO
    Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

    Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form.
    Boils at nothing and may freeze any time.
    Melts when treated properly.
    Very bitter if not used well.

    Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable.
    Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum,
    and precious stones.
    Violent when left alone.
    Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food.
    Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

    Usage: Highly ornamental.
    An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth.
    Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

    Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!

    Element Name: MANIUM
    Symbol: XY
    Atomic Weight: (180 +/ - 50)

    Physical properties: Solid at room temperature,
    but gets bent out of shape easily.
    Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
    Difficult to find a pure sample.
    Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity
    as easily as young samples.

    Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance
    it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself.
    Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM)
    for prolonged period of time.
    Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

    Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source.
    Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

    Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly
    decomposes and begins to smell
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  2. 1 Comments

  3. by   PennyLane
    :chuckle :chuckle heehee. Good one!

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