I'm sorry Dutchgirl but I don't have a lot of answers to your questions.
I do have one comment. I thought that "meterosexual" referred to a certain "look" of some men - the ones who have all the hair care products, skin cleansers, scrubs
, highlight their hair, who are really fussy about their looks. I didn't know it had to do with wanting to cook and clean all the time, and I don't think it has anything to do with sexuality.
I don't know if wanting to cook and clean all the time are character traits of a certain sexuality. My husband is a "clean nut" (don't want to say "freak" because it's not that) and he is constantly cleaning the kitchen - no, I'm absolutely not complaining. He's insists on vacuuming twice a week and he's very good about doing housework. But he's far from being "meterosexual", but as I said, I thought that referred to a certain "look."
I'm sorry that I don't have the answers to your questions, but it sounds to me like she might be a little blinded "by love", and maybe not willing to see some of these problems. It sounds also as if she is making excuses for her husband as he's still making these phone calls to lines which conflict with the value system she wants for her new family. Here I'm referring to the value of honesty.
I'm sorry that you are going through this, and that your daughter is having to go through this while expecting a child. I do hope that things are worked out one way or another soon.