Neighbor - Yelling at my son

  1. Sometimes neighbors just irritate the hell out of me . I have a 13-year old son whose just a big kid with an even bigger heart. The neighborhood kids, who are mostly younger just love him to pieces. He plays fun games with them and they all look up to him. Everyone gets along just fine EXCEPT for the girl next door who is 9. She mostly only plays with the 3 & 4 year olds in the neighborhood, because she can boss them around and make them do what SHE wants. Well, my son won't put up her business at all.

    So picture this: It's a HOT & HUMID afternoon HEAT INDEX is well over 100 degrees. All the kids in the neighborhood have collected all their squirt guns - geesh there must have been 15 squirt guns out there and this girl decides to scream and cry to her mom because my son squirted her shorts with water Mind you, all the kids are running around squirting each other! The girl is a notorious crybaby, whiner, and maniplulator. The girl did ask my son to stop, which he did - but he chased her around like he was going to squirt her. She's running around SCREAMING at the top of her lungs. Well, the girls' mom who had been watching from the window - comes flying out of her house and SCREAMING at my son very angry and nasty calling him a bully and how he should know better because he is 13 and blah blah blah. She told me about the incident AFTER she verbally assaulted him and I just laughed it off and said "oh well, boys will be boys - won't they?". She was very hostile and nasty when she was talking to me! So rather than get into it with her verbally - I just shrugged it off. I mean for goodness sakes - it's only freakin' water!

    Am I wrong to be angry? I think she should have come to me if she had a problem with my son - not verbally attack him in front of her daughter, who the other kids told me was SMILING and SMIRKING the entire time Like she was so darned proud of what she had done! AARRRGGGHH!
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    About amblessing

    Joined: May '02; Posts: 243; Likes: 24
    Registered Nurse


  3. by   debralynn
    Next time all the neighborhood kids get together have them all in your yard and dont invite the whine bag. I know that sounds cruel, but you have to look after your own.....nobody else will.
  4. by   nursegoodguy
    I say like mother like daughter! You were the bigger person! H3ll we have occasional water fights at work and I'm 40! This other nurse, (she's 24) just loves to come up behind you and drip water down your back... Well, I being the older male in this situation, never would participate, (safety hazzard) until one night... here she comes downt the hall and she decided to do it to one of my patients, (who also is a 40 year old male and likes to participate but is in a w/c so he is not quite as agile...) BUT... I am... so here she comes walking down the hall as I am doing my med pass and she stops to talk... I just pour a full COLD glass of water and just like that SPLASH!!! Right in the face!
    Too bad you didn't have a squirt gun handy yourself and as she turned to walk away, SQUIRT! You did the right thing... Someone's gotta be the adult! Just explain to your son to avoid the little... and her mother too!
  5. by   Q.
    Well I'm not a parent, but I remember being unfairly acosted when I was a kid. Hmmm.

    I guess you can't change the fact that this girl is who she is - crybaby, whiner, whatever.
    Bottom line if she asked your boy to stop, he SHOULD HAVE. Whinebag or not, the little girl has a right to be irritated. Maybe she didn't want her shorts squirted, maybe the water was cold, maybe she was intimidated by your son; it doesn't really matter why. He should have stopped, especially if it seemed apparent that she was serious.
    The neighbor parent should have come out and firmly told him to stop and left it at that, rather than carrying on.
  6. by   amblessing
    Thanks everyone! I'm trying not to let it get under my skin, but it's hard I and I didn't get much sleep last night. I grew up in an EXTREMELY verbally abusive home and I am very sensitive to people yelling at children. I'm surprised I didn't flip out on this woman.

    The problem is we live on a cul-de-sac and the whiner lives next door. All the kids congregate on this street. It is pretty impossible to tell my kids to stay away from her, since the minute any kid steps outside to play - the whiner is right there! We just bought this house last year, so we haven't lived here very long. I should have known that there would be problems, as soon as we moved in because many of the other mothers warned me about this girl right away.

    I'm a firm believer in letting kids handle their own problems unless someone is physically hurting them! I will not allow other people to verbally abuse my children, because I know firsthand how negative and damaging it can be.
  7. by   Mkue
    Your post reminded me of a T-shirt I saw once..

    "If you can't run with the Big Dogs, stay on the Porch". Something like that.

    I grew up with only sisters and we quickly learned when to scream and when NOT We didn't scream very often !

  8. by   I1tobern
    I agree with debralynn. When the kids are there and the girl shows up, send her home and tell her why!. Let momma know, too, that she is not allowed to play in your yard--just to keep down hard feelings.

    I have a nine year old, and we have run into the same problem on occassion, as well as being designated as the neighborhood babysitter.
  9. by   Robin61970
    My 2 cents.....I would have verbally assaulted this woman for speaking to my child in that manner.......if there was a problem with "MY" child then I would expect the mother to tell my child to come with me and walk up to my door and tell "ME" what my child was doing and I in turn would handle it. No adult should scream and carry on like that at a child.........especially one that does not belong to them.......I yell at my kids occasionally to get their attention, but not way......I wouldn't allow her to play with them if there was that kind of problem......of course I alos tell parents that send children to my house to play that the same rules apply for those kids that apply to mine. We only have one real spanking offense and that is hitting or putting hands on someone else.......we don't allow that. I tell them your child is at my house(mostly inside stuff for this rule) and abides by my rules if your child breaks a rule to deserve a spanking they will get it so if you don't want that then don't send them in my house to play......luckily the children who do come over have parents who feel like I do about this, but I lay the rules out before there is a problem to be dealt with.........Good Luck to you.......
  10. by   l.rae
    when my kids were younger we had the same situation here....also live in a culdesac, offending neighbors next door dontcha the time, the kids in the hood were very good decent kids, good parents and all....the next door neighbors relatively new w/ twin dgtrs, about 3, and an of the kids lays his bike over on the curb/grass of their yard...she comes running out..."you hoodlums...yadayada..."...they called police on neighbors in back cause of 4th july fireworks....(they had a party every year...always came over next day and cleaned up the debris that came into other yards...very nice pple)....they set the sprinkler on my son's car after he washed and waxed for prom...cause it was parked in front of their house...l could go on but you get the pic....anyway l saved the best for last, unfortunatly, not only is their last name the same as ours,........He is a youth minister at a local church!!!...guess it takes all kinds........LR
    Originally posted by mkue
    "If you can't run with the Big Dogs, stay on the Porch".
    Well, I will play devil's advocate for only a brief second or two. There's a saying about there being no bigger b*tch in the world than a mother protecting her child. She was probably showing just as much of that when her child came running to her crying, as you did when she yelled at your kid.

    BUT. As a parent, I never take it upon myself to scold another person's child. If it were for their safety or something serious, maybe. But water?

    In a case like this, I think the above quote is absolutely precious. Kids will be kids, and if the little princess doesn't like it, maybe she should find some other little princesses to play with.

    Those would have been my exact words. Spoken like the mother of a little boy. No girly types allowed here.

  12. by   duckie
    I just went to my family reunion where we had over 40 people. Someone took the time to fill up 300 water balloons and we had a blast. I might add that the ones that had the most fun were us old poops over 40. We were all soaked and laughing our butts off. You're right, it was only water! Both prissies should take a chill pill and stay in the house and play dolls! If she is in the middle of an activity she doesn't wish to join in with, she should stay out of the area until it's finished. She sounds like a trouble maker to me and the next time I would tell her if you don't want to join in, we'll let you know when we're finished and you can come back. Maybe she acts this way because she's insecure and is afraid folks won't like her so she beats them to the punch, so to speak. She does sound like a real bully and that's a shame because when she grows up and looks back on her childhood, it won't be filled with the pleasant memories of good friends and fun times.
  13. by   semstr
    All things above are true, on the other hand your son is 13 isn't he? Now I had four brothers who were 13 too, (waaaaaaaayyyyy back) and they were something else!! Never knew when to stop, no matter who screamed at them.
    I don'T want to offend you or something, I am a mother too, and very protective of my girl, but still, I know 13 year olds!
    Take care, Renee
  14. by   hoolahan
    Can you say passive-aggressive? This little chick has it figured out!

    I agree, next time the kids are all playing, they should all just totally ignore her. Don't squirt her, chase her, or acknowledge her presence in any way. Pretend she in invisible. I'm sure she'll whine to her mother no one will play with her then, but that's what she gets. There is nothing like peer pressure. When the kids tell her they don't want to play woith her b/c she is a tattletale, she will probably stop this behavior.

    I agree with you about letting the kids work it out themselves. Once the parents start butting their noses in, it only makes the child learn how not to solve their own problems and conflicts.

    I say next time you see her mother in the yard, drench her with the accident of course.

    How very very mean to run the sprinkler on the car prepped for the prom. That is such hard work to wash and lovingly wax your car. I remember doing that when I had my hot rod camaro, and that just sticks!! How petty and small!

    When our back door neighbors c/o our dog barking at the fire siren, my sister's went out in the back yard at night and dive-bombed their house with dog poop. Yeah, they got a can of whoop a$$ opened on them, but boy was that revenge sweet!