Let me start off by saying this is a personal vent, not a nursing vent.
I am an only child. My husband has a younger brother that is 22. He has dated a girl, off & on, for about 3-4 years. She dropped out of high school shortly after they started dating, has been off & on drugs for most of that time, has been to more rehab programs than I can count, and supports these habits with an illustrious career as a stripper (not that I have anything against strippers, it's just how it fits in with the entire picture).
My brother-in-law is no prize either. 3-foot tall bongs are part of his living room decor. Once while visiting, my son found a vial of a mysterious white powder in the bathroom. He has a child from a previous relationship, one he no longer sees, and I've never even laid eyes on. I bet he's about 4 now.
Well, he gets this last girl pregnant. They're very off again & on again, and I get tired of it. I tell him, "you can't tell us things she does to you, make us hate her, and expect us to like her again when you get back together." I told him she was no longer welcome in our home when she started stealing from my MIL. That's when she slit mine and my MIL's tires.
At Christmas time, when she was about 3-4 months pregnant and they were indeed together again, she stole his car, sold it and it's belongings for crack, and then took herself to an ER in the morning.
He didn't press charges. Thought he could save her. Loved her and his baby.
Well, she delivered a healthy baby boy, at my hospital and on my unit no less. She admitted to crack cocaine 3 weeks ago. Her tox screen was + for cocaine and pot. Lab lost the babies meconium, but the urine was -. I watched from the nurses station as CSB filed into her room, and I watched as they filed out with their "saftey plan" in hand. I watched as she smiled smugly at me on her way out the door. Her mother even shot me nasty looks, as if I were the one holding a crack pipe at that very moment.
My brother in law called us late last night to give us the good news. CSB dropped their case against her, "she can leave her house now, and doesn't even have to take those p*ss tests every week!"
Hubby told me and I just cried in bed last night. I've written my BIL off as a f*ck head long ago, but he's my only chance to ever be someone's aunt, and I'm only ever gonna be an aunt to crack babies that that I never see that live with crack addicts. (did I mention the mother of his first child likes her crack too?)
I haven't been able to figure out why it bothers me so much this time. Perhaps it's because I saw this baby. Even got to hold him in the nursery and comfort him as he fussed, while his mother went out to smoke with her friends. I looked at him, the day after he was born and some of the facial swelling went down, and recognized the facial features of my BIL and husband. And as I sit here, I am so sad and scared for that baby, and I've never felt such disgust for 2 parents, even in my line of work.
I'm sorry for making this so long. I thank you if you've even made it this far, let alone if you decide to comment. I just needed to let it out. Thanks.
Jul 15, '02
I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter and grandson Julie. My thoughts are with you too.
You know, I really don't care what kinds of choices adults make for themselves, or what kind of lives they lead, or what they put into their bodies. But I'm so tired of seeing them take their kids down with them. I see it EVERY DAY at work, and I guess it just hit close enough to home this time to snap me out of the jaded OB nurse "everyone gets to take their baby home" sarcastic attitude.
Last edit by OBNURSEHEATHER on Jul 15, '02