Need some allnurses wisdom....

  1. A little long & rambling, but humour me, all right??

    Ok, looking for input here...need you guys to tell me if I am completely off the planet, or doing the right thing....

    Went out with a group of friends a few weeks ago - movies, coffee, nothing very exciting - anyway, there was this guy there who had tagged along with one of the others...we talked, etc....

    Cut to 2 weeks ago, & I get a phone call from him, asking if I'd like to go to the cricket. I assumed that there would be a group of people, but when I met him there, it was just us. Anyway, we talked, etc., ended up going to the pub for a few drinks, etc....

    So, to cut a long story short, we've been talking on a daily basis for the last couple of weeks, going to movies, talking, etc....

    I get a pain in my chest when I look at him! He is the most lovely, genuine person I have ever met. We can just sit & talk for hours. The first time we went out, I went over the "you know how old I am, right?" - he is 24, I am 33. He knows about my children - we have been seeing each other during school hours for the time being (he works permanent nights, which kind of sucks, but can be quite convenient).

    Having been out of the dating scene for a long time, I need to know....

    Is it a rebound thing? Is it possible that it is real, or am I just falling for the first person to treat me nicely in a very long time?? I don't know whether to just go along with it & have fun while it lasts, or call the whole thing quits now in case someone gets hurt.

    Help me here, guys, I really respect your opinions.

    Thanks....
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  2. 20 Comments

  3. by   BellaTerra2002
    I'm not sure I understand.

    You've been talking with this guy daily and been dating him for two weeks, right? You find yourself 'falling for him'? [I believe you can start to fall in love with someone in two weeks. I personally know of people who got married in just a few months and are still together 20/30/40 years later. However, that is hardly the norm.]

    I suggest you continue to date this guy, have fun, and see where it leads. (I've always thought it better to 'grow' in love with someone rather than 'fall' in love with them.)

    If you're trying to protect yourself from a broken heart, my suggestion is that you stop seeing him immediately and never date again because that's the ONLY way you can absolutely know for sure that you will never have a broken heart.

    Life and love are risks! Go for them! The alternative sucks! About 6 weeks ago I broke up with the guy I had been dating for about a year. It's been a little rough since then -- we had no choice except to break up and I miss him very much at times -- however, I wouldn't trade that year with him for anything. I have great memories; I learned a lot from him, and I am not the same person (for the better) that I was a year ago because of having known him; and I really believe he's a better person for having known me. So what if my heart is sad? I'll live, and, God willing, I will love again and be an even better friend/lover.

    I LOVE this quote: "Security is a myth. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing at all." Helen Keller

    GO FOR IT!
  4. by   DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE
    Just enjoy it!!!!!!!
    If you enjoy his company, and you have fun together then what is the problem? His age? Age is irrelavent. He may very well be a wonderful mature 24 yr old man. Where as there are many 40 yr olds that act like children.
    If he treats you as you deserve to be treated then you have found a gentleman. Allow it to progress on its own and just take it in stride. If its love it will present itself, but dont jump onto the train thinking he is the one. Let him be whom he is and you do the same. If its love it will show itself, when the time is right. Dont rush anything just let it be what it is and enjoy it.
    Zoe
  5. by   Rustyhammer
    Go for it is what I say.
    If for no other reason than you enjoy his company.
    Good friends don't come around the corner every day
    so when you meet one it's best to hang on.
    You may wnat to have a talk with him and tell him what you have told us here.
    What a fine Christmas presant.
    -Russell
  6. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    OK, what's the worst that can happen? It doesn't work out and you end up alone? Isn't that where you were when you met him?

    Seems to me like you might as well enjoy yourself along the way? Hate to get all cheesy/corny on you...... it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?

    Just have fun, and be safe!

    Heather
  7. by   cbs3143
    Hi oznurse,

    The previous posters have given you excellent advise. One of my coworkers is married to a man about 15 years younger than her. He's a terrific guy and adopted her three sons, even after they were adults. The sons all took his name even after they became adults. He's the special "Boppa" to their grandchildren, and Barb is one of the happiest people that I know.

    Don't sell yourself short. Unless you're really rich and are worried that he has an ulterior motive, he sees something (or many things) in you that intrigues him. He treats you well and doesn't seem to be concerned about the age difference. Give him the chance, give both of you the chance to let your relationship grow and develope.

    Best wishes for happiness in your new found friendship, whether it progresses to love, or stays a good friendship.


    Chuck
    Last edit by cbs3143 on Dec 29, '02
  8. by   kaycee
    I agree with everyone else here. Go out, have fun and whatever happens, happens. Age means nothing. Enjoy yourself, you deserve it!
  9. by   2banurse
    Originally posted by ITSJUSTMEZOE
    Just enjoy it!!!!!!!
    If you enjoy his company, and you have fun together then what is the problem? His age? Age is irrelavent. He may very well be a wonderful mature 24 yr old man. Where as there are many 40 yr olds that act like children.
    This is so true!!! Especially 40 y/o men acting like children!!! Enjoy and let those of us on the BB live vicariously through you!!

    Gosh I'm jealous!!! I could use a 24 y/o!!!

    Kris:roll :chuckle
  10. by   kids
    I agree...sit back and enjoy the ride.
  11. by   semstr
    Oz, enjoy and don't think so much!
  12. by   hoolahan
    Enjoy yourself!!! Don't ask why, just enjoy, see where it goes. Lucky you I say!!!
  13. by   LasVegasRN
    Take it from one who has always been unlucky with love, ENJOY. Don't read too much into the relationship, keep it as long as it is comfortable. You deserve happiness and the feeling of giddyness. It's what all of us desire and wish for at some point in our lives. It just so happens this is occuring at a time where you may have needed it most. Bask in the glow! Kick your heels up!! Me, I'd hold a parade and shoot off flares!
  14. by   shay
    ITA w/everyone else. Just jump. Enjoy the ride. Man, I miss that whole gushy-butterflies first-kiss feeling. Ahhh, the days of youth.....

    You do realize we're all telling you to go for it so we can live vicariously through you, right? Kidding. Do it. And be SAFE.

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