Need help with my boob!

  1. OK.....I thought that might get your attention! I had my yearly mammorgram today. The technician came in afterwards and said she needed to take another picture of my right breast (gave some excuse, which I don't remember now). I waited afterwards and then the MD came in and said that the "little cyst" that they had been following for a few years has grown bigger and they want me to have an ultrasound. It was already 4:30 PM and they had an emergency ultrasound to do (questionable DVT) so I have to go back on Friday.

    It's 1:30 AM, I can't sleep. I'm scared. Yes, I'm a nurse....I shouldn't worry. But, yes, I'm a nurse.....I'm worrying!!

    Anyone have any experience with this sort of thing? My grandmother had breast cancer. I know I shouldn't be thinking the worst case scenario, but I guess I can't help it. My life just sort of sucks right now. I've been out on disability for 5 weeks. I slipped on a wet floor at work and screwed up my knee. I'm going to PT 2X's a week, but basically I'm stuck in the house. I have nothing to do but sit around all day and worry about my job, my finances, and now at 1:30 in the morning.....my right boob.

    Sorry to sound so pitiful, I know there are others who are worse off than me................I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for "listening".

    Jan
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  2. 25 Comments

  3. by   mother/babyRN
    You do not sound pitiful. You sound human. Don't you tell your patients if they weren't scared than you would be nervous because they are supposed to be nervous? Whether or not you have a family history of breast cancer, there is nothing wrong with being anxious. The fact that you do have a family history ups the ante. Just take a deep breath! At least the mammagram attendant was good enough to find a change and be concerned. Think of it this way. If she or he had missed it and it WAS a problem you would be in much worse shape down the line.
    Please keep us informed and it seems apparent that however you're feeling you HAVE kept a sense of humor, thus the title of this thread ( which certainly DID catch my attention, by the way) Many hugs and good thoughts to you!
  4. by   aimeee
    To have some worries is perfectly normal. I don't know anyone who would not. Try not to dwell on it though and drive yourself crazy with what-ifs. Remind yourself that at this point they are only checking things out. ((((HUGS))))
  5. by   BadBird
    I hope you are feeling better, please keep us posted.
  6. by   CATHYW
    I'm sorry that this nerve-wracking experience has happened to you. It happened to my Mom about 13 years ago. With her FIRST mammo, they found a lesion at the back of her right breast. She went immediately, and her doctor did a wedge resection, removing a third of her right breast, and the calcified lesion, which was on her chest wall. They did testing on for 3 days, because her sister died of bilat breast CA at age 36. Result? A "precancerous" lesion. She now has mammos every year, and has had no further probs!
  7. by   shay
    Here's my honest suggestion...which I gave to my best friend who's also a nurse a few weeks back when SHE was having the can't-sleep-worrying-too-much thing going on.

    Get some ativan or xanax. I'm totally serious. Just one dose. Go to your primary MD and tell 'em what the deal is and just ask for one little pill to help you relax a bit.

    You're not a freak, you're not nuts. I'd be worrying too. It's normal, like the other posters said. As nurses, we all tend to freak out when something 'bad' is happening to us health wise. We're horrible patients!! LOL!! At least I know I am!!

    I hope everything is okay. Go to your doc, get some meds, and then go to your local craft store and get yourself something to do to keep your hands and brain busy. Cross-stitch, needlepoint, painting....whatever. It doesn't matter. And swing by blockbuster and rent yourself a great comedy.

    Hope you've gotten some sleep!!! :kiss
  8. by   semstr
    Hey you ARE NORMAL!! Of course you worry about yourself an NO, it is not hysterical to do that!!
    But try to think positiv, hard, I know, but it musn't always be something bad!
    I have to go every year, because my masthopathia is very bad and every year when my appointment comes I am a nervous wreck! Although I do a control of my breasts every few days, so I know them pretty well, it is still terrible hard to wait for the Xrays and Ultrasound and have in on paper that everything is like it was.

    So I know how you feel!! Try to stay cool and relax and as I said: think positiv!!
    Take care, Renee
  9. by   MPHkatie
    Hey I know what you mean, I have a lump that the MD just found on my left one, so maybe we can be each others spare pair. I finally decided that there was nothing I could do currently, so I would focus out on other things, like my volunteer work (CHemoAngels) and my friends, I have been sending all sorts of little notes and such in the mail to keep my mind off the inevitable.... Best wishes, my boob buddy, keep us updated!!!
  10. by   RNConnieF
    Jan,
    You do not sound pitiful, you sound human. I think that sometimes as nurses we forget to give ourselves permission to act and feel as women. I had an abnormal mammogram in Feb. 8mm lump in left breast, ultrasound shows it is not a cyst. Follow up mammogram is tomorrow morning. Yes, I know that most breast CA is is the left breast. Yes I know that the fact that this lump is medialstinal increases the likelyhood that it is CA but I alos know that ANY woman diagnosed with a breast lump panics first and thinks later. So for now I'll just have to allow myself to panic and so will you. While waiting for the results can I join the boobie party?
    Connie
  11. by   live4today
    ((((hugs Jan)))) I did have an ultrasound following my last mammo in January due to a lump I felt. The mammo couldn't pick it up due to it being too far to the side (almost underarm). The doc ordered the ultrasound which didn't detect anything serious - in his opinion. Still being watched, monthly checks on my part, and return to surgeon in six months (well, it's june so I guess it's time to see the surg...) I have fibrocystic disease of the boobs anyway, so I ALWAYS feel lumps. :chuckle
  12. by   MPHkatie
    Oh geez, I was doing soooo well, until I heard the stats from connie about the LEFT breast and the mediastinal area, that where the heck my lump is, so now I am going to panic with you, My MD didn't order anything yet, but since I am semi-dating another MD< I think he will be happy to order one up for me... Oye vey. I think, as soon as all our panic is over, we are going to deserve a very nice shopping trip to the lingerie store. eeek. Victorias Secret is having it's semi annual sale
  13. by   thisnurse
    i think we worry MORE because we are nurses.
    i would be afraid too. good they found it. i will keep you in my thoughts
  14. by   ComicRN
    First off, thanks to everyone for your kind words. It helps me to come to the computer and see what my fellow nurses have to say.

    Mother/babyRN - you said the exact thing my husband said, "at least they found it and they're doing something about it"!! As far as my sense of humor - no matter how yucky I'm feeling that's usually the last thing to go!!

    Cathy - I'm glad your mom is doing well and they caught her problems early on.

    Shay - I absolutely love your idea. Unfortunately, my doctor probably won't do that (I know, I know.....I won't know until I ask her!!!). She's heavily into "natural" remedies, such as relaxation, deep breathing, herbal tea before bedtime, etc. Well, first of all.....I CAN'T relax, I'd probably FALL OVER if I took a deep breath, I HATE tea and even if I did like it, I would probably be up all night peeing if I drank it before bedtime! I do like the crafts idea. Actually, I've been reading a lot (mysteries) and that helps.

    MPHkatie - Why didn't your PCP oder any further testing after he/she found the lump? And yes, I like the idea of being boobie buddies! OK....and just how does one SEMI-date a person?!!

    Connie - As I'm typing this, you have had, or are having your f/u mammogram. My thoughts are with you, as I'm sure everyone's are. Wish we could all be there holding your hand. Please let us know how it turns out. And yes, please join the boobie party. The more the merrier (there's power and strength in numbers)!!

    Renee - don't forget to make that appointment. We'll all be checking to make sure you do...............right ladies?!!!


    Hey you guys..............I just thought of a great idea for a new avatar.............................tee hee!!! :chuckle

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