Need advice on a situation with my 15 year old sister and sex...

  1. Okay here's the deal.....my daughter brought me a note of my sisters and she was pretending to read it...I started to fold it....saw the word pregnant and read it instead. It seems my sister thought she was pregnant a in March. I am not sure how to deal with this. My sister is 15, but she does not have the emotional maturity of a 15 year old. She still plays barbies and baby dolls......she has the emotional level of a 12-13 year old and will be 16 in July. She is very easily taken advantage of by boys because of this and I am not sure how to handle this situation. I think talking with her would be a good thing, but I don't feel right keeping this from my mom either. What a mess........I am glad I saw this note though because I don't want her ending up pregnant young if I can help it......how would you handle this? I was thinking of talking to her and then telling my mom , but that will piss mom off.......talk to mom and then convince her to let me talk to my sister......whew....this is gonna be interesting......thanks for any help........
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  2. 33 Comments

  3. by   canoehead
    Talk to your sister lovingly and have a box of condoms ready to give her along with demo on how to use them. Even a 12 year old will understand that pregnancy is not OK, but she should alos get the talk about respecting yourself and not giving in to peer pressure.

    I have a younger sister and I would not tell my mother if she was 15 and sexually active, but I would talk frankly to HER. Tell her she can see an MD for these issues too, without the doc repoting back to her Mom.
  4. by   nurs4kids
    Robin..
    That's a tough one..

    First of all...
    If she's still in the "imagination" play stage..are you SURE she really thought she was pregnant, and not just imagining again? I remember doing this type thing in my early teens...pretending I was having sex, when I wasn't, etc. A friend told her mom, who called my mom..gawd was I embarassed..lol.

    You also have to consider..how close are you to her and will she listen to you? How close is she to your mom? When I was 16, my brother saw me smoking (he's 8 yrs older). He told my parents. I'm smoking right now. In retrospect, I wish he had sat down and talked with me..told me it is NOT cool, etc. I thought the world of him at that stage in life and I was obviously in the "parent's are idiots" stage, so all I did was rebell more against my parents.

    Also, if YOU decide to talk to her, I also suggest a healthy discussion of STD's..even give her some literature on STD's (you can pick tons up at the health dept or at most pediatrician offices).

    Now, with all that said..the mom in me is screaming "tell your mom!!"...but I'm not sure that's the best answer.
  5. by   Robin61970
    Mom knows she has been sexually active before....when she was 13 mom had to quit a job because she found out my sister was sneaking a boy in the house after mom left for work(the neighbor kept an eye on my sister and this boy would come to the window.....took a couple of weeks for them to get caught, but they did......anyway mom is really careful with my sister now and the only way my sister could have gotten away to do this is when she was with friends at their houses.......
  6. by   nurs4kids
    hmmmmmmm...
    in that case, I would probably tell mom...
    i guess.
  7. by   hapeewendy
    very tricky situation...
    do you feel like you can talk to her about this stuff?
    I would try to before going to mom, then again I dont have any children of my own , or any teenage siblings for that matter
    I'm just trying to put myself in your sisters shoes, I would rather talk to my sister than my mom I think...
    good luck, keep us posted
    ur a good sis
  8. by   sunnygirl272
    HMmmm....condoms&bananas, pics of nasty STD infected crotches...and a serious talk about s-e-x and its consequences...pregnancy would be only one of my concerns in this situation....
    then tell mom afterwards...

    imo, that is,....
  9. by   Robin61970
    I really don't think that she would listen to either me or my mom...she is very stubborn in that way....which is why I am wondering if we should not both approach her together and provide a united front.......a baby.....geez.......that would suck....mom can barely handle her...
  10. by   sunnygirl272
    wouldn't she maybe rebel worse? like you were ganging up on her?
  11. by   Robin61970
    She really is not your typical teen.....guys you see most teens as talking to friends on the phone all the time...wearing lots of make-up and doing nothing but talking to boys......my sister doesn't pay much attention to clothes...wears very little make-up and is so flattered when a boy talks to her she is snowed. She spends most of her time at home or at my house playing with my kids. She plays dolls and playstation....listens to music.....and watches lifetime movie network. She is really untypical......she is so trusting and childlike....that is why I am so worried.......
  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Originally posted by Robin61970
    She really is not your typical teen.....guys you see most teens as talking to friends on the phone all the time...wearing lots of make-up and doing nothing but talking to boys......my sister doesn't pay much attention to clothes...wears very little make-up and is so flattered when a boy talks to her she is snowed. She spends most of her time at home or at my house playing with my kids. She plays dolls and playstation....listens to music.....and watches lifetime movie network. She is really untypical......she is so trusting and childlike....that is why I am so worried.......
    She is typical in SOME areas. What IS a TYPICAL teen anyhow? Does she have girl friends to confide in, or is she more or less isolated? Has anyone suggested COUNSELING? Her self-esteem may be in the basement ( I would bet it is). She may need tools to help her deal with her hormones, feelings and inner turmoil that she is experiencing. ONLY SHE CAN DECIDE to care enough about HERSELF not to suffer the ill-effects of early sexual involvement and all that it entails. If she will NOT listen to you, maybe a empathetic 3rd party? I wish you well. She is indeed lucky to have you in her life!
  13. by   TeresaRN2b
    Um, I hate to say this, but maybe your mom could talk her into going down and getting a depo shot. I am normally a teach abstinence kind of person, but the consequences of a baby that young are really high and she is not old enough or mature enough to understand that. I was a complete idiot as a teenager. There was a 15 year age gap between me and my youngest brother so I really thought I had babies all figured out. I didn't! I think you should definitely talk to your mom. Right now I wouldn't worry about whether your sister is mad at you or not. When she is older she will appreciate it whether she does right now or not. Your ultimate goal being her not getting pregnant right now. I personally think condoms are going to be a waste of a time teaching her right now. She has to be assertive enough to use them and doesn't sound like she is. I mean I'd teach them to her yes because there are some nasty diseases out there, but I would also work on getting her some type of more permanant birth control like depo or the monthly shot. Something someone else besides her can supervise. Just my two cents anyhow.
  14. by   Robin61970
    I agree Teresa...i thought of that too.......I would like for her to be protected, but I did not feel comfortable doing that behind my moms back. Man...why do I always find out this sh*t.......well it could be worse....no one could have found out til it was too late....I will deal with this today......

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