Need Advice, friend ( or used to be) situation.

  1. Bear with me on this. This has absolutely nothing to do with nursing, except for the fact that both myself and the other girl involved are in practitioner's school.

    Wednesday the 5th, I had finals for my 1st semester of practitioner's school. Another girl and I ride together, she drives a BMW. I drive a Chrysler Sebring (this will come into play later). This day was my day to drive.

    Normally, this girl (I'll call her Marie) parks in my spot in my garage when she leaves her car at my house. It's a new car, and it's her baby. This day she parked in the drive, about 30 feet from the garage where my hubby parks his pickup.

    On our way home, my husband called and asked what had happened to Marie's car ( he drools over this car). He had been working with my father and uncle all day, came home, and noticed that there was a punched-out place in the front bumper. Of course, Marie freaks out. She had not known about the spot, she said.

    We get home, and she sees the spot, immediately accuses my husband of hitting the car and lying about it, and goes berserk. The she gets in the car and flies off. We insisted on paying for the damage and filing it on our insurance, simply because she claimed it happened on out property. Her hubby called later that night and he and my hubby worked out the details.

    Marie called today and said that she wanted to apologize to me, just me. She still had the gall to say that my hubby either did the damage and is lying, or he knows who did and is covering for them. Now, my hubby may be a lot of things, but a liar he is not. In addition, the truck he drives is so high off the ground that it would have been logistically impossible for the spot that was hit to have been done by his truck. It would have taken off her hood, but not put a dent in the bottom of her bumper.

    She refuses to listen to reason. She's convinced that he did this. What galls me is that, were the situation reversed, and I accused HER hubby of this mess (not that I would, I would believe him), she would never speak to me again. I do NOT like having my hubby called a liar. Also, she did make it a point to tell me that her car payment is $800 a month. My car, I guess, is trash to her.

    I guess what I want to ask is, is it even worth it to try and save the friendship? What would y'all do? Could we have done anything more ( hubby and I)? Thanks so much.
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  2. 19 Comments

  3. by   leslymill
    She isn't a friend until she adjusts her attitude. Your husband is your friend and his relationship is the one that counts.
  4. by   Diary/Dairy
    Be loyal to your husband - you are in it for the long haul with him.........

    Time to find someone else to carpool with,
  5. by   canoehead
    You have bent over backwards, I would not want to associate with her any more, for fear of other false accusations.
  6. by   kukukajoo
    I was just in this VERY same situation. Just before Thanksgiving my SIL comes and borrows my durango from the daycare I am filling in at (to help the owner who is a friend). I was parked so that there was one car space between my can and owners vehicle. Later in the day they notice a dent. and swear it my turck that did it despite some damage being lower than my bumper. I end up just paying the damage to try tp save a friendship and wonder if I was just taken advantage of. Probably is the answer and I am not sure she is a friend at all anymore.

    I thought the friendship was worth more than that but now I am not so sure.
  7. by   LeavingTeaching4RN
    I wouldn't pay for the car to be repaired. Also, I would not attempt to be her friend. Good Luck!
  8. by   mauxtav8r
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    ...
    Normally, this girl (I'll call her Marie) parks in my spot in my garage when she leaves her car at my house. It's a new car, and it's her baby. This day she parked in the drive, about 30 feet from the garage where my hubby parks his pickup.
    ...

    HHHMMMMMMMMMM. 'nuff said.
  9. by   nurz2be
    If it had been me it would have taken all of 2 seconds for this "friend" to find out that calling my spouse anything negative would result in the end of this friendship. Would I be physical, no. Would I quickly respond in saying, "We offered to repair something that was not in anyway our personal fault and if you were a true friend you would accept that and keep your accusations to yourself." ABSOLUTELY. Let me tell you if Wal-Mart doesn't pay for the door dings I get in my $200 dollar a month car JUST because my car is on their property and some other irresponsible knucklehead wounds my car, why should you? She didn't park her "baby" in a safe spot and it got smooshed. Just wait til she parks it at Wally World one day and she gets the good old fashioned cart/door dings. Is she gonna blame your hubby for that too??????


    Find a new friend who drives a Hyundai!!!!! LOL
  10. by   bethin
    As she flew off into the sunset I would have called the police. If it happened on your property, and she's accusing your husband, then wouldn't that be leaving the scene? Maybe not, my mind is hazy after working all night.

    Is there paint transfer? Any witnesses such as neighbors?

    IMO, this woman has an attitude problem and I wouldn't speak to her again - apology or not.
  11. by   bethin
    Quote from AngelfireRN

    She refuses to listen to reason. She's convinced that he did this. What galls me is that, were the situation reversed, and I accused HER hubby of this mess (not that I would, I would believe him), she would never speak to me again. I do NOT like having my hubby called a liar. Also, she did make it a point to tell me that her car payment is $800 a month. My car, I guess, is trash to her.
    I love beemers, and if I had an extra $800/month I might drive one, although I'd be mighty scared that I'd wreck it. I think it's rude and snobbish to go around saying what your car payment is. Sounds like she has a security problem and she's trying to make herself look good and important by stating what she pays. In the end it only makes her look like a fool.
  12. by   TazziRN
    Any good body shop could tell you if the dent was old or new, which would have cleared your husband right there.

    As for the friendship, I say wave bye-bye with a smile. NO ONE would get away with treating my husband and me like that, not even family. I would tell her "Whether or not you believe my husband is responsible, the fact that we offered to pay for the repairs should have ended the matter, but you are not letting go of it and I cannot tolerate the things you're saying about my husband. I think we should find other people to carpool with from now on."
  13. by   clemmm78
    What everyone else said. If she can't listen to reason, then I wouldn't consider her a friend.

    edited to add: I am the only one who is suspicious that she chose this one particular time not to park where she usually did?
  14. by   TazziRN
    Quote from clemmm78
    What everyone else said. If she can't listen to reason, then I wouldn't consider her a friend.

    edited to add: I am the only one who is suspicious that she chose this one particular time not to park where she usually did?
    That's why I mentioned the body shop......

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