Man, I could be here all night...
A few representative faves--
You know, Mrs. Buchman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming a**hole be a father.
From Practical Magic
Since when is it a crime to be a **** in this family?
From The Princess Bride
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
From Men In Black
Gentlemen, congratulations. You're everything we've come to expect from years of government training.
A *person* is smart. *People* are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.
I hate the living.
We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we're aware of.
This has GOT to be a nine-point-oh on my weird-sh*t-o-meter.
From Bring It On
She puts the "ass" in "massive."
She puts the "itch" in "b*tch."
She puts the "whore" in "horrifying."
Let's not put the "duh" in dumb!
Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded.
Follow me or perish, sweater monkeys.
Courtney, this is not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy.
You are being a cheer-tator, Torrance and a pain in my ass!
Missy's the poo. So take a big whiff.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
I thought you might like some coffee.
No thanks, I take it black, like my men.
Surely you can't be serious.
Yes, I am serious...and don't call me Shirley.
Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
From Austin Powers
Dr. Evil: I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.
Evil. I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "mister," thank you very much.
Scott Evil: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
Dr. Evil: An evil vet?
Scott Evil: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
Scott Evil: You always do that!
Dr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential. My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.
Okay, have to stop now.
Maybe more tomorrow.