My SIL is a real piece of crap....My daughter is pregnant again!

  1. I was sooooo blown away I could hardly speak, I just wanted to cry buckets, but I held it together and told her congratulations. She said she was afraid that her Dad and I would be mad. We're very disappointed that she's having another child with this loser husband of hers but would never tell her. We congratulated her and our loser SIL. A baby is a blessing. DD is a loving mother and this baby will be taken care of with lots of help from us and her in-laws, who are awesome to our dd.

    Our SIL has a habit of disappearing whenever stressed by life events. Typical drug addict. Friday am he found out they're pregnant. He went to work and 7am and supposedly worked until midnight. I don't buy it for a second. Saturday he slept (more like passed out all day) and had called into work. She spent the day with us because he was "so tired and needed to rest". I wish my dd would open her eyes. She is so in denial of who she is really married to.

    My 13 mo grandbaby is so precious. He's going to be a big brother by 22 months.

    My SIL is such an I wish he'd get run over by a bus. As an update to the fact that he is only "bi-curious", every weekend when I shop with my dd she is buying him a 24 count box of Prep H suppositories. Who can have hemrroids that bad unless they're more than "bi-curious". Oh, how I wish she'd wake up. I can't believe she's even sleeping with this piece of crap husband of hers!
    Last edit by DutchgirlRN on Dec 18, '06
  2. 14 Comments

  3. by   Tweety
    Sounds very dysfunctional indeed. What on earth is your daughter thinking??? However, as you say a baby is a blessing. I wish them well, but I understand your frustration.
  4. by   prmenrs
    Doesn't she have any peer friends who could point out a few of his deficiencies??

    If he really worked that many hours, it would be reflected in his paycheck stub. Ask her "how much did he get paid for all that work??".

    Something has GOT to wake her up. Don't know what it will be.

    I feel for you! Not much I can do but pray, but I'll do that, OK?
  5. by   bethin
    First, congratulations on another grandchild! Every child, no matter the circumstances is a blessing. It's good to hear that she her in laws are also supportive.

    Ok, you probably don't want to think of this, but if he's so called bi-curious and she's buying him preparation H, has she thought of buying him condoms too (for him and his 'friends')? And getting checked for STD's? I know it's not a pleasant thought and I can't imagine the pain it's causing you seeing your daughter go through this. I'm not a mother yet but I can guess that no parent thinks when their daughters are little that they will grow up and marry a loser druggie. Protecting the kids should come first and he has no right and she shouldn't stand it to have drugs in the house - if that's the case.

    I wish she would open her eyes and leave him. She's better off with no husband and IMO the kids are better off without a dad than the one they have. Dads are supposed to be throwing footballs, teaching them how to fish, etc. I will be praying extra extra hard for her. I will keep you in my prayers as well.

    A while back you started a thread questioning how involved and supportive you should be. Have you made any decisions regarding that?

    (((((hugs)))) and congrats on the new baby! Try to keep your mind on the positive - a new life. I see my mom as a grandma now and it's amazing how happy it has made her. And it has made me extremely happy to be an aunt.
  6. by   VivaLasViejas
    Oh, Joanna............

    All I can say is, a baby is a blessing, no matter what its parentage or the situation into which it is born. Your grandson- or granddaughter-to-be already has a good mother and wonderful grandparents; everything else can be overcome, and will be taken care of in God's time.

    Sending good thoughts and prayers your way, my friend.:angel2:
  7. by   live4today
    dutchgirlrn - will also keep your dd, her husband, their son, and their unborn baby in prayer. prayer does work! i know that to be true from my own personal experiences over the course of my life. there are valid reasons why prayer isn't answered the way we want them to be answered all the time. our ways are not god's ways, nor our thoughts his thoughts just like parents ways and thoughts differ from their children's ways and thoughts for various valid reasons. our kids may ask repeatedly for things that as parents we know are not in their best interests, so we either say no, or delay the desires of their hearts for a more "appropriate time" in their life...sometimes no time is right. do pray for your sil, too, because spiritual warfare and spiritual strongholds are going on around us impacting our lives all day long. we can't see those things, but they are in constant battle for those who love the lord. okay...i may be getting too deep here, but trust that praying for your sil to be healed spiritually and emotionally is of utmost importance...not just for his sake, but for your dd and the kids too. :kiss :angel2: :flowersfo :icon_hug:
  8. by   leslie :-D
    aw joanna,

    i so understand your frustration.
    i am very grateful however, that your grandchildren have such a loving mother and loving grandparents.

    i have to agree with renee....pray for your sil's healing. as it stands, he can't get any more misguided.
    in the meantime, continue with the unconditional support you have shown your daughter.
    all your babies will thrive because of everyone's love.

  9. by   compassion1
    I'm in full agreement with the folks above. Those kids will have lots of love. Children are a blessing from God. Of course, when they become teens you begin to wonder about those blessings. I'll be praying for your SIL that he finds the love of God and that he gets his act together. As I found out in my own family, drugs can really screw up a mind and a family. God bless you and your family.
    Last edit by compassion1 on Dec 18, '06
  10. by   SouthernLPN2RN
    I'm so sorry. Congrats on the pending grandchild. I will keep you and them in my prayers!
  11. by   CHATSDALE
    sil is not much better...don't like him sober but it is better now than when he was drunk
    babies are beautiful
  12. by   Grace Oz
    (((hug))) joanna! can imagine how you're feeling. i agree with what the others have posted. hang in there and try and look for the positives, if you can!
  13. by   DDRN4me

    as the other posters have said., the baby is a blessing... and perhaps (maybe) your dd will see that he is a loser when she has 2 little ones to take care of with no help from him... she is so lucky she has you and her inlaws...btw... what is their take on his behavior ?
  14. by   SmilingBluEyes
    hang in there!