my kid is making me nuts

  1. my kid who has never given me any trouble is a senior in collage and now because of a bad breakup with boyfriend wants to quit school, grades are suffering and all i hear is i am so stressed. well i am so stressed thinking about her throwing away a degree fro a guy she didnt really like all that much anyway. dated for a year and a half but just a filler so to speak. if she quits school i swear i am going on ativan. thanks for listening
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   Rustyhammer
    It is hard for some kids to go through school without some turmoil in their lives.
    She is a senior and will graduate.
    Maybe she needs a semester off.
    -Russell
  4. by   nursegoodguy
    Originally posted by Rustyhammer
    It is hard for some kids to go through school without some turmoil in their lives.
    She is a senior and will graduate.
    Maybe she needs a semester off.
    -Russell
    Everything you say deserves to be repeated!
  5. by   prn nurse
    Sounds like maybe she did like him more that you realize.

    Who broke it off? Sounds like he did. Must be a new woman.....

    Is this the first time she's been dumped?? First times are devastating.

    The devastation to self-esteem is what makes it so difficult to handle.

    Self-esteem has to be reconstructed.

    Is there anything else going on that is compounding the loss?

    Does she have a close girlfriend or two who will listen and give emotional support?

    It's sheer hell when ones' scholarly / professional life is on an even keel and ones' personal relationships falter.
  6. by   bagladyrn
    Can you approach her (or have another adult she respects approach her) from the "don't give him the satisfaction" of seeing how devastated she is, show him he doesn't matter by getting on with her life. Even if this is not the case, maybe it will get her through this, without doing anything drastic.
  7. by   suni
    i have spoken to her and yes she has a few really good friends who have been supporting her i have recommended going to the counseling office at school at this point no matter what i say it seems to be the wrong thing so i have decided to let it inthe lords hands for now and pray for the best she knows i am here and always willing to listen, i think the self esteem is the issue this is only 2nd real boyfriend she doesnt jump into anything and both time she was the one who got dumped.
  8. by   LasVegasRN
    I always lived by the motto, "The best revenge is success".
  9. by   prn nurse
    Well, she obviously is a good girl who doesn't jump in. Otherwise she would have been dumped 1/2 dozen times by high school.
    Tell her the 1st 2 or 3 times are the worst....she shoulda went thru that by jr. hi.

    Like you said, doesn't "jump in " lightly.

    Probably puts her whole heart into it.

    Can't you get her to come home for the weekend? For comfy and friendly surroundings?
    some home -cookin and TLC?
    Maybe a shopping trip for a FABULOUS winter coat? You may need to break the budget....shatter it here !
    Or, I would go there......out to eat...shop, walk in the park....just talk and hug.
  10. by   suni
    i think we will be going for the weekend she is only 2 hours away thank god. but just call ed to say failing all test. again i said call the counseling services and get some help because she sure isnt listening to anything i have to say if worse comes to worse and she quits school she will just have to find a job to pay back student loans but unemployment is hight here and i hate to think of that when we are only 7 monthes from graduating
  11. by   SmilingBluEyes
    give her some time; as you know, this is a turbulent time and her heart is broken. she will get back with it when she is ready. I remember 20 like yesterday. Would not want to go back, really.
  12. by   Jenny P
    Originally posted by suni
    if worse comes to worse and she quits school she will just have to find a job to pay back student loans but unemployment is hight here and i hate to think of that when we are only 7 monthes from graduating
    Suni, please don't think I'm being harsh here, but think about what I'm saying. I do know how much it hurts to see your daughter in pain and making bad decisions right now.

    I'm having to learn the hard way that "we" are not going to college; my son and daughter are; and they are now grown up enough that they make their own mistakes and they have to live with their own consequences. This is a hard thing for me as both of my kids are still ADHD; but my son is now 23 and my daughter is 20; it is time for me to back off and let them learn some hard lessons on their own.

    My son has screwed up his credit ratings; my daughter has dropped enough classes that she may not get her student loan. We could afford to help both of them; but it would (once again) mean I won't be going back to school.

    I'm learning to back off (DANG! It's such a HARD thing to do!); offer emotional support and encouragement, but also put the responsibility on THEIR shoulders. I told my daughter that if she drops out of school she has to get a job and live on her own-- she won't be allowed to move back home and live off us at this point again. Our son does live on his own, and has learned some hard lessons because of that. Both of them know that they can come here and work and earn $$ from us for the work they do, but the free ride is now over.

    Good luck and I will be thinking of you. I hope your daughter likes LV's motto that "The best revenge is success".
  13. by   Rustyhammer
    Is she too big for a spanking?
    -R
  14. by   dianah
    (storing up JennyP's words and experience for the future . . .) ((sigh)) no one ever said it would be easy . . . hang in there . . . I'm praying and rooting for all of you. -- D

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