My Husband the Klutz!!

  1. Okay, he's NOT usually this bad!

    We were having supper outside tonight. I came out with the salad and sat down and he got ready to serve the burgers.

    First, he dropped a bun on the patio. "Oops, that one's mine!" he said.

    Then, he dropped the burger turner on the patio (like, five seconds after the bun!) "Oops, THAT'S mine, too!"

    He brought the burgers to the table, and we began to add the condiments. Both the ketchup and mustard squeeze bottles were nearly empty. They were primed for disaster.

    He couldn't get any mustard out of the squeeze bottle. He kept squeezing harder and harder. Suddenly, there was an explosion, and the top came flying off, squirting gobs of mustard everywhere. I couldn't help myself...I laughed long and loud, while he glared at me.

    He couldn't get any ketchup out of the small squeeze bottle, the type they have at the hamburger stand, so I took the grocery store squeeze bottle, the name brand one, and stood it on its head so the ketchup would run down towards the cap. After a minute or two, he picked that one up, flipped up the cap, and BOOM! That one got him too!! Ketchup all over his hand and the table!

    When I had finished laughing over that one, he cracked a rueful smile, and said, "I wonder what else is going to attack me tonight?"

    We soon got the answer....mosquitoes!! With West Nile virus being rife in the Toronto area, we hastily beat a retreat inside!
  2. 16 Comments

  3. by   jemb
    Musn't laugh, don't laugh, contain yourself......mmmmffffffffffttt...........

    (gets up, dusts self off, trying to calm cats who ran out of room and are now craning their scrawny little necks to look at me around the corner....)
  4. by   H ynnoD
    My son use to be bad.I'd swear if there was a small rock in the middle of an empty parking lot and he had to cross the lot,some how he'd trip over that rock.He's not so bad now,think we spent most of the early years of his childhood picking him up.I've had days like your husband did,he must of been embarrassed? :chuckle
  5. by   gwenith
    Hooo Boy! Been there done that
    bought the T shirt and the hat
    tripped on the floor tripped on the cat
    shook the bottle and got squat
    shook it harder to get SPLAT!
  6. by   Ted
    I resemble that story!!!! :imbar


  7. by   Shamrock
    I've had days JUST like that!!
  8. by   nowplayingEDRN
    My sides were shaking and by the time I got to the ketchup...I was :roll

    My dear hubby has gone thru similar incidents...and I have had the dropsies before but never attacked by the mustard and ketchup before.....:chuckle

    Now mosquitoes.........been there...done that and still doing it......Curse West Nile
  9. by   Flynurse
    Whenever I make a klutz move, Dave always tells me,
    "Life wouldn't be that interesting if you weren't such a klutz!"

    LOL I love him!

  10. by   nowplayingEDRN
    Just call me "Grace"....hehehehehehe
  11. by   funnygirl_rn
    Sometimes, I am the one at get togethers that comes with clean clothing, but somehow ends up with a food stain on my shirt! Oh least I am enjoying myself!
  12. by   H ynnoD
    If it does'nt get all over the place,It does'nt belong in your Face-Carls JR.
  13. by   nursechris1
    My husband is the king of Klutz.
    Lets see, there was the time he was trying to shave weight off of a pine car derby car, and sliced his finger open.

    Then the time we were camping, and he was pounding the lantern pole into the ground, it snapped and missed his eye by about 2mm, bled everywhere, and insisted on driving himself back to town to the ER.

    Another time, sliced his hand open with a knife at work.

    The other day, he took a bowl out of the microwave without checking to see if the bowl was hot, burnt the crap out of his finger.

    One time, he was giving parvo shots to our puppies, he was trying to flick the bubbles to the top of the syringe. He flicked too hard, the syringe went flying into the air, and the needle injected his thigh. Must have hit a vein because it bled like crazy.

    I know there are many more. He also spills food on his shirt almost every time he eats, and spills coffee down his front weekly.
  14. by   VivaLasViejas
    I once destroyed an entire bathroom in a fit of klutziness many years ago when I was pregnant with my 3rd child.

    My husband had awakened me early, and with eyes @ half-mast I stumbled into the postage-stamp-sized bathroom, stubbing my toe on the bottom part of the toilet. I knocked over the trashcan, and as I was picking up the mess I swept several towels off a low shelf with my ever-expanding bohunkus. Then I burped and the shower rod and curtain suddenly fell down in the tub, hitting a towel rack full of towels in the process and knocking THAT off the wall as well. I finished the room off by turning around and sweeping all my perfume bottles and other toiletries off the vanity with my 8-months pregnant belly.

    My husband just about had a fit as he surveyed the wreckage. He didn't understand how I could have trashed the bathroom in less than 5 minutes.......thankfully, it's a feat I've never duplicated, although I still tend to get the dropsies (especially when I'm getting close to starting a period). I've always been something of a stumblebutt anyway, but that's the worst stunt I've ever pulled, thank God!