My entire family has been devastated

  1. Six years ago my oldest son married a girl that everyone in our family fell in love with. She was like my daughter. We talked every day, and she always told me that she felt closer to me than to her own mother. She and my daughter were best friends. They sat with each other's kids, and spent at least one day a week together, as well as talking on the phone every day. My other sons also married wonderful girls, but "Susie" as always my favorite. On Saturday, she brought the kids over for me to watch, and told me my son would pick them up after work. He stopped for the kids, had supper with us, and then went home, where he found a message from her that she was not coming back. She had left for a man in another state that she had met on the Internet. That knocked us all for a loop, we just couldn't believe she had done this. Then on Monday, he got a notice from the bank that they were foreclosing on the house, and reposessing the car. By Wednesday, all of his utilities had been turned off. He was giving her his paycheck, and she was saving it to leave with instead of paying the bills. So now he and the four kids (five year old twin boys, and three year old twin girls) are staying here with us. My son has not gone to work all week, he just sits and cries for her, and the kids don't understand why Mommy left. I can even rationalize about her leaving my son. I know what it is like to be home all day with a houseful of kids, I did it too. And there were times I felt trapped and alone, but I never thought about leaving my kids. She never gave any indication to me or my daughter that she was unhappy. My son said she never told him she was not satisfied. He worked 52 hours a week so that could stay home with the kids. She always said she wanted to stay home with them, and that she could get a job when they were older. We are just all so stunned. My husband and I lent him the money to save his house and car, but he has not been back to the house yet. I have not spoken to her since she left, my son has one time. I feel like I lost my daughter.
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    Joined: May '02; Posts: 979; Likes: 11


  3. by   kids

    I am so sorry for all of you.

  4. by   NurseDennie

    That's horrible. Those poor kids. Your poor son. Poor you and your hubby!

    Well, obviously she went nutz. It's one thing to leave, but she didn't have to just devastate her family like that. I know this sounds vindictive, but what the heck - your son should sue her new boyfriend for alienation of affection. I read about a case similar to this a few years ago and the hubby won!

    Good luck with your feelings and dealing with the feelings of your son and grandkids. The kids are the most devastated in this, believe me. Everybody else remembers life "before" her, but not the kids. She was their life, and now she's just trodden on them.

    I just hate when things like this happen. Such a shame.


    Last edit by NurseDennie on Jul 4, '02
  5. by   kaycee
    Oh geez how terrible for your son, those poor kids and you. My heart goes out to all of you.
    I could never leave my kids, I can't even imagine that. Many hugs for you all and I pray your son can get through this!
  6. by   moonchild20002000
    So sorry to hear about your trouble. My prayers are with you and your family.
  7. by   finallyRN
    I am so sorry for you and your family. Especially those four young children who have to live their lives with what their mother has done to them. I hope for their sakes that she will continue to be a part of their lives in some way. May God Bless you all.
  8. by   nursejws
    OMG! That is horrible! I don't know how any mother could leave her kids. Talk about a slap in the face. Positive thoughts and prayers for your son, the kids and you and your husband to help you get thru this.
  9. by   dianah
    Ditto, ditto. The kids are surprisingly resiliant, given time. Your son: his heart is just broken. What a shock!!! It is, as you say, devastating. You will all grieve for the many losses. Please take one day at a time. Our thoughts and prayers are there as you read this. -- D
  10. by   jayna

    Hus to you all.
  11. by   hapeewendy
    *hugs* what everyone said is true
    all the best to your family as you struggle together to process this and deal with it.
    so many times when families break up people fail to realise more than just the two people who break up are affected.
    it happened with my family, when my parents split up many many moons ago, at least your family unit seems strong enough to be supportive and help eachother.
    My thoughts are with you , and I know that you will be the strength for these children , and for your son
    best wishes
  12. by   suzannasue
    So very sorry this has happened to you,your son, the children.
    I cannot offer any great insights...this situation is occurring more frequently than we realize...I cannot understand why someone would do this to her family,especially with no warning,no clues.
    Perhaps she will come to her senses one day and realize that all of the excitement in the world can never replace the love of a family.
    Once again, I am so very sorry this happened to yall.
  13. by   aimeee
  14. by   sunnygirl272
    hugs to you and your thoughts are w/u