My Day In Jail

  1. ahhh, youth. looking at my avatar you wouldn't guess i spent time in the pen, would you? yep, i did. i post this with the hopes that maybe an innocent shall learn from my mistake, and laugh at the absurdity of it all. for long, long ago, in a far away land in memphis, tennesseee....

    this was around 1985/1986. i was dating a guy that i will call "rufus". i was 20, in my first year in nursing school. we met at a military bar called silky sullivan's. he bought me a diver - which is some sort of red liquor concoction served in a paint barrel with 50 long straws for convenient swapping of spit.

    rufus and i happily dated for about 8 months. i noticed he had a very long horizontal scar on his abdomen one day. he said he was married to a "crazy german wife" who cut him one day when he was stationed overseas [hint for my ass #1]. rufus lived in a house with his mom, brother, and sister.

    one day, i was over at the house one sunday morning sitting on the couch cuddled up with rufus while he browsed the sunday ads. rufus said, "i see graduate nurses are making $12 an hour." i replied, "oh no, it's more like $9 or $10 if you go to med-surg". all of a sudden, a fist comes out of the air and lands in my face - pow!! *****? i am dazed, i am confused, where are my glasses? what is happening? i realize i am getting beaten repeatedly in my face.. by rufus!! in the midst of all this, i try to get my glasses, and block him from hitting me. i look up and his mother has pulled him off of me, yelling at him to stop. i get up, and run out of the house.

    i run down the street and see a neighbor - i run to her house and knock on the door, begging her to let me in. at first, she wouldn't, she kept saying "i don't want to get involved!, i don't want to get involved!" i pleaded, please, let me in, i just want to call the police. she finally let me in. as i stood there calling the police, i looked in the mirror and understood why she didn't want to let me in. the right side of my face was swollen, there was blood all around my neck and chest from where one of his nails gouged out a chunk of skin by my collarbone. , indeed.

    the police arrived. they went to talk to rufus first. i saw them laughing with rufus on the porch. they came over to me and said they could not arrest him, it would be my word against his, go fill out a report on monday morning downtown. have a nice day. i asked the officer if he could drop me off back at my dormitory that was 20 miles away. he said, no, catch a bus. have a nice day. i was left sitting on the curb.

    rufus kept calling me to come back inside. i ignored him. no one, no one in my life had ever hit me. no one. about 20 minutes later, his sister drove up. she saw me sitting on the curb. "i'll take you back to the dorm", she said. during the drive back to the dorm she told me she wanted to warn me, but thought her brother had changed, she was so sorry.

    i got back to the dorm. the house mother at the desk saw me and called my roommate to come downstair right away. i told my roommate to bring her camera - i was not cleaning up until she got a picture of me. i didn't call my parents, didn't want them to know because i firmly believed my dad would have driven down and killed rufus.

    the next day, i went downtown to the courthouse to swear out a complaint in front of the judge. i brought the pictures, the bloody clothes, and picture of rufus. i wrote out all the details on the complaint. the judge came out, asked me if what i wrote was true. i said, "yes! do you want to see the pictures and the clothes?" she replied, "no." no??? no??? i thought, how could she just take my word for it? i could have just made all that up!! i have evidence!!
    [hint for my ass #2]

    rufus got arrested from the complaint i signed. he sent flowers. i sent them back crushed up and trampled on. he sent letters. i sent them back in ashes. he called, i hung up. he came by, the housemother told him i was not seeing him - go away. one day, rufus' brother showed up....

    "my brother says if you do not drop the charges against him he will have you arrested." i busted out laughing. on what grounds? he has no evidence! please!!

    one day on my way to microbiology class, the police showed up at the dorm. hmmm, wonder what they are doing here? i was happily walking out the door, with my penny loafers on and books in hand when the housemother paged me to the desk.
    "ma'am, we have a warrant for your arrest."

    i sat in the back of the police car in complete wonder. wow!! just like in the movies! cool!! a real police radio! wow!! look at the size of that shot gun! whew! by the way, officer, what am i charged with? "assault and battery, he says you kicked him in the groin and punched him." hahahahahahah. oh boy, that's a good one. hey, is that the switch to turn on the siren? cool!!

    we get to the detention center. i'm frisked by a lady cop. then i'm taken to the booking place. wowwwww, so this is how they do fingerprinting! cool!! for some reason, i am giggling uncontrollably, to the point where i am laughing out loud. like a lunatic. "ma'am please hold still and face forward, hold the placard under your chin". bwah hahahahahah. at this point, the officer is laughing also.

    i get to my cell. just a cot, and a metal toilet. the barred window is the size of a shoe box. i'm sitting there, still giggling and am in awe of a real live jail cell! wow!! all of a sudden, i hear other people in the cells talking. one of whom is cookie, the prostitute.

    "three! what you in here for?" yells cookie.
    "aw, girl they caught me lifting at goldsmith's."
    "damn. that's f*cked up." yells cookie. "five! what you in here for?"
    "pigs say i violated a restraining order."
    "damn. that's f*cked up." yells cookie. "i cut this mutha!%$^@#@%^# (insert long line of melodic expletives here)%!@#%& and i'll cut his ass again for stiffin' me like that. six!! what you in here for?"
    no reply from the person in cell #6.
    "i said six!! what you in here for?" bellows cookie.
    still no reply from person in cell #6.
    "oh you betta gatdamn answer me you !@#$^#^# (insert long line of expletives here)!#%^*%$# i'll cut your mutha-#$^# ass up like chicken you !%$^&$" yells cookie.
    at this point, i was really wishing whoever was in cell #6 would answer this lady because she was getting progressively louder and more threatening with the silence. i was trying to read my microbiology book (that the guards let me have after it was searched) when one of the guards walked by, handing out snacks. cool!!

    "oh, thank you!" i say to the guard, as she gave me my jail snack. it was half a peanut butter sandwich. as i sat down on my bunk to unwrap my sandwich, i noticed it had a sticker with my social security number and my cell # 6 on it. oh shyt.
    "...and by the time i finished jackin' yo shyt up, you big !$#%#^&# (insert long line of violent melodic expletives here) ^&^%*#..."
    "um, cookie?" i said in tiny squeaky voice, "i'm sorry, i didn't know which cell i was in i was sitting here reading my book and i've never been here before so i didn't know and i was trying to not bother anyone because.."
    dead silence.
    "oh, okay. so what you in here for, six?" replies cookie.
    i tell her what happened with rufus and how they arrested me on the way to class.
    "that's f*cked up. you want me to cut him for you? i'll f*ck his shyt up. punk! beatin' on you like that. want me to cut him?" says cookie.
    "no, that's okay, thank you. i just really want to go back to the dorm now. heh heh."
    "okay but if you change your mind, i'll cut him for ya. my name is cookie, everybody knows me. just look me up, six."
    "okay, thank you, cookie."

    i got bailed out 10 hours later by my cousin. trying to make this long long story short, we went to court, rufus got fined for "malicious prosecution" and ended up paying all my court costs and half of my attorney's fees.

    i still have the scar above my collarbone. i never looked up cookie - never saw what she looked like and she never saw me. :d
    Last edit by LasVegasRN on Sep 5, '02
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    About LasVegasRN

    Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 4,948; Likes: 27
    RN Case Manager


  3. by   Robin61970
    SUCKS..........I think I would have pi$$ed my pants,lol
  4. by   CATHYW
    Good gosh, Vegas! What an experience! 10 hours in that place, with Cookie chirping the entire time would've made me want to TOSS my cookies! LOL!

    Do you know if Rufus ever hurt anyone else, or what became of him?
  5. by   JailRN

    You poor dear.
    Get outta my way, I have my fanny pack and Rufus shouldn't be too hard to find.

    PS For all of those of you who are still laughing,she's not kidding-that stuff really does happen___all the time.
  6. by   Robin61970
    I fully believe that it is sad.....
  7. by   LasVegasRN
    I saw his sister at a department store about 2 years after that happened. She said he had married. I asked her if she told the wife what he was capable of. She never answered me and walked away.
  8. by   Love-A-Nurse
    lvrn, although this has been some years, you have being through some rough "spots" where men are concern. you will get the man who loves and respects you and your child too.

    on a lighter note.....i thought you were in jail with a computer and i would have to come an give you one of my cigarettes. i am sorry, but this was my first thought! :chuckle

    now, back to being serious, here is a ((((((((hug))))))).
  9. by   eltrip
    He's still in Memphis, then? Ok...

    My fellow Tennesseans, do I hear the words "ROAD TRIP"???
    Let's go & find him & show him how a food processor can be used!
  10. by   live4today
    Oh awful for you! That man will one day be behind bars for battering or killing someone. Let's hope they get him before he gets them. He's no doubt beating up his wife....and what if there are children involved in that marriage? Oh my! I gotta pray for that family...that man needs some serious help!!! I'm so glad you survived that monstrous behavior inflicted on your person. No one should have to endure such hatefulness! ((((((((Vegas))))))))) I'm afraid one day we'll be seeing Rufus on the news one day. He'll either be carried out of his home in a body bag, or in handcuffs while his wife is carried out in a body bag.....beat up badly....oh gosh! How sad!
  11. by   LasVegasRN
    Thanks LPN, and all!
    At graduation, the housemother who was there that night when I got back from jail told me she was very proud. I asked why, she said there were MANY other students who had come back to the dorm BEATEN by their boyfriends and CONTINUED to see them afterwards!! I could not believe this!! She said, yes, it happened to you one time and you were through - too many others keep going back. Unbelievable. Although I do not, for the life of me, understand how someone could keep going back, I am empathetic to those caught in that horrible cycle.

    I am not bitter over the experience, it taught me a true lesson. And it is funny when I look back on it.
  12. by   shygirl
    I am reading all kinds of good stories here today.
    Wow! What a creep! Lucky for you you didn't end up staying with him because you L-O-V-E-D (pronounced all drawn out) him!
    P.S. Thanks for sharing
  13. by   CATHYW
    Man! That sister didn't tell you, and she didn't tell Rufus' wife! What is it with that?
    Women should stick together and keep one another informed (as best we can) of the men who are violent.
    My husband's daughter-in-law told me (when we were dating) that he had a "bad temper." Since I never saw it, I assumed that he was just a big man who could get cranky when the occasion called for it.
    I was soon to find out that he got cranky (and physical) whenever. There was no rhyme or reason to it, but it did seem to be cyclical. However, THAT pattern didn't necessarily follow the same time line. I went to counseling, and got him to go with me; twice.
    Finally, after he threatened me with a gun last year, I told him that was it-the marriage was over unless he got some help. We went to our family doc who sedated him with Xanax 0.5mg q 4h. He could barely function, but he wasn't violent anymore. After 2 weeks of that, he told our doc that he had to do something else and agreed to see a psychiatrist. That was when he was diagnosed as hypomanic bipolar. It has taken almost the entire year since to get him regulated on meds, but I've never again hada violent episode from him. He says he is pretty sure that he has been bipolar since the end of high school. That was what caused his "bad temper!" :imbar
  14. by   Mama Val
    JailRN is right that is what happens, actually your experience was pretty mild compared to most.
    Where is he I need to knock some sense into that a$$
    I am so glad you didn't go back to that $hithead. I like a woman with ovaries who won't take that crap from anyone. I see relationships where one beats up on the other and they just keep going back, and back, and back until they wind up in the morgue.