More Thoughts...

  1. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts!

    I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."

    The other day I went to a tourist information booth and said: "Tell me about some of the tourists who were here last year."

    If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

    Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges did not live there.

    If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

    So what's the speed of dark?

    How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dis-ing them anyhow?

    After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

    Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

    If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    One good turn gets most of the blankets.

    If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the guy who said "Quit while you're ahead"?

    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

    If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

    After all is said and done - where do the people in hell tell one another to go ?

    Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Is it OK to yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded Firehouse?

    Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

    Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

    Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

    When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

    Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

    If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

    Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
    Last edit by betts on Apr 6, '02
  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   debbyed
    :chuckle :roll :chuckle
  4. by   micro

    a closed mouth gathers no feet...............

    a hand in mitt restraints doesn't type a ????? post reply like micro does here.........
  5. by   Cubby
    Funny very very funny!!! Thanks
  6. by   betts
    For all of us with 'BOYfriends' or 'Husbands' that promise to grow-up...................reply with:

    A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
  7. by   micro
    betts.......i ditto that.........but then again......what is a hardon......i forgot.........
  8. by   semstr
    LOL to post 5 AND 6!