For fours years, I stayed in what I knew was a doomed relationship (ended up being a total of 9).
The last 2 yrs were actually unhealthy.
I consider myself to be religious and divorce just wasn't an option. . . until staying married wasn't an option, either.
Now, it's seven years later. The first 3 were tough, because I was buried with debt. I lived in a crappy WWII era apartment near the college in a major college town. Talk about swallowing a healthy dose of pride!
I ended up changing church congregations, just so I wasn't wearing a scarlet D on my forehead. There's more that I could say about that, but not in here.
I can remember after paying child support, car/gas, insurance, rent and electricity having paydays where I had 20 bucks left over to last me 2 weeks. And that didn't include the 500 dollars in other debt that didn't get paid. I juggled 3 bills to pay one. The next payday, I juggled 4 to pay 2. Etc.
What a difficult time! But in a way, it was a very liberating time for me. I had done everything I felt I could do to stay married. And so, once I left, while I still had moral problems with the decision, I felt secure that I had made the only 'right' choice.
Dad'gum! I wouldn't have traded all the difficulties in being newly divorced for putting it off another year or two for all the tea in, at least, the upper west half of Brooklyn. Or something like that.
Debt and all. Mac n' Cheese and all. Low points and all. Finally making that choice: It was just a relief. Or, as the Mastercard commercials go: priceless!
I'm very thankful about who I am, as a result. And, where I am. No take backs!
But now. NOW. My bills are paid down. The legal stuff is paid for. I've built up enough household supplies that I have a home. Indeed, I now OWN my own home, in a much better neighborhood! I normally have money left over after payday (but thanks to a water leak in the yard and a big plumbing bill that included digging up the yard, not necessarily THIS payday).
I'm dating. Not always. I don't like the dating game. Yuck! But, I do date from time to time.
I wake up and I think: I love my life, Thank you God, for being so kind to me! Warts and all. Divorcee and all.
All of where I am NOW started with a first and very difficult step. That first step cost me alot. Financially, morally, in stock in pride. I wouldn't take it back.
It got me to the person I am now. For THAT, I am grateful beyond belief.
It's easy for any of us to say leave. Indeed, you mentally know that, already. But, until and unless you feel it in your heart, in your soul, that decision will not be as valuable to you. Until you can leave without the cost of consideration about the 'rightness' of your decision, you probably won't leave. But if and when you do leave, don't look back. Make sure your mind (no, not your mind, your heart) is made up and then, follow the courage of your convictions.
Good luck to you.