I have a resident on my unit that I am very close to right now. We have formed a very special friendship and I care for him very deeply. When I left work on Sunday night, just before my five days off, I had this nagging feeling that it could be the last time I ever saw him. Warrior Woman can verify these feelings as we spoke of him several times during my visit with her. I just called my unit a little bit ago and was told that he was red lighted out on Monday, with a possible MI. This also happened a couple of weeks ago, but he was returned to the facility with a DX of Angina. I'm hoping he returns to me with another DX, but in my heart I know time is short here. My heart hurts, but I know he is getting tired of fighting the fight and when he goes, he will face the Lord proudly. I guess I just find it a little odd that I could feel soemthing was wrong, even from many miles apart. I am not praying that he remain here, I am praying for him to find peace and rest, but my heart still hurts all the same. Just needed to vent. Part of me wants to be by his side at the end, the other part of me is afraid I cannot remain a professional through this. I guess I'll leave it up to God to make that decision.
Oct 4, '02
Duckie, I think you know that there a special people who touch us throughout our lives; people who (it seems) we are closely tied and attuned to their souls, hearts, and minds. Some are our spouses or signifcant others, some are close relatives, some are our special friends, and sometimes, it can be a patient too. I do feel that this is a special gift from the Lord when this happens; accept it, and if you are there when he does die; who cares if you are "professional" or not when you have lost a friend?
Oct 4, '02
((((((((((DUCKIE))))))))))))) What a heart of love you have, Duckie. That poor fellow will leave this earth knowing how much you cared for him as a patient. That's what counts at the end of his life......knowing he was loved and cared for. :kiss