Men and Women...Totally Opposites!

  1. I'm starting this thread for some much needed advice from men and women who are totally opposite in nature when it comes to SEX!

    Mattsmom's comments about her and her hubby being opposite when it comes to sex (he wants it more, she doesn't want it as much as him) got me to thinking about this subject more because I rarely meet another woman who is like me when it comes to desiring sex as much as a man does.

    When I talk to my husband about this subject, he says that he is not "all men", and he does NOT desire sex like the media would have people to believe about men. Why are men and male psychologists always talking about the male need for sex being greater than a woman's need for sex???

    Let's Talk About Marital Sex

    According to the Bible that I believe in, God is the creator of sex, and He made sex good and pleasurable between husband and wife. I don't believe that men should be lumped into one category anymore than I believe women should be lumped into one category when it comes to marital sex.

    For those of you who are Christians like myself, It even says in the Bible that husbands and wives are NOT suppose to deprive one another of sex and pleasure lest they cause their partner to stray, EXCEPT for a time of fasting as agreed upon by both husband and wife, but "come together again" lest you be tempted to also stray. [1 Corinthians Chapter 7]

    Any married men and women care to share their views on this subject?
    Last edit by live4today on May 7, '03
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  2. 35 Comments

  3. by   ziggyRn
    Cheerfuldoer,
    I don't think that you are unusual...I know lots of women who are just as 'sexual'as men are. Also it's bunk,IMHO, that we are not visual.
    But perhaps many women are still 'repressed' because historically they have had to curtail their sex drives...whereas men have traditionally been allowed to have full expression of theirs.
    Good example...men who still think it's OK to enjoy their little girl/teenage porn.
    Women were blamed for male behavior and the consequences could be extreme...eg. the honor killings in arab society. So perhaps women learned to limit themselves...or ? got sneaky.
    Also the worry about pregnancy must have resulted in a reduction of sex drive. That is...it served to control women's behavior.
  4. by   adrienurse
    I love that men are opposite. Most of my friends are male, I prefer working with men, I get along better with men in general. It's a balancing factor, I think.
  5. by   duckie
    Don't you think that the desire for sex can vary from time to time, depending on what is happening in our lives? Example, when I was at my very worst in depression, I had absolutely NO desire for sex but because I am still very much IN LOVE with my hubby after ten years of marriage, if I was receiving the signals, I put on my bestest happy face, or sexy attitude, so to speak and even though it wasn't the thing I really wanted to do, I did enjoy it once in progress. Now that I'm on Paxil, my poor hubby is begging for mercy cause all he has to do is walk into the room and I swear, if I had a penis, it would be screaming at attention. So now, the issue has reversed, I'm horney all the time and he is used to not getting sex frequently after having been so understanding of my circumstances for so long, so he has adapted to only wanting it occassionally when I want to jump his bones all the time. Now, I feel deprived, just as I'm certain he did at the time but I remember how understanding he was when I didn't want sex and I know I must exercise the same amount of
  6. by   duckie
    Darn....I hit the wrong button and accidently put my post in before I was finished with what I was saying. I'm sick, I have an excuse........anyhow, back to what I was saying. I must exercise the same amount of understanding as he did because I love him, only him and when we do have sex, it is still fireworks and rockets. I am also learning how to "play the game" to give him more "urges" and frequently it works but when it doesn't work, I remember how he stood by me and I settle for the cuddling and kissing because he is very affectionate and loving. What happened to me and how he dealt with it really taught me a lot about true love and tolerance. Men do not realize that they are not the only ones that can get turned on at the drop of a hat. I can be at work, look at my husband and I swear, I have to go outside to have a cig to calm me down because I feel like I could rape him in front of everyone. I cannot believe I am saying all of this. Being home from work for 4 days has given me too much time to think. Sex is a beautiful GIFT given to each other and it is not a toy to be played with lightly. I am not means a puritan and I have had sex outside of marriage, some darned good sex I might add, but there is nothing more precious than the sex you have with the one you love and cherish. I think there will always be a gap in how men and women view sex, which is a shame because if we could only meet in the middle, there would be less divorces. Okay, now Duckie will hit the post button.
  7. by   duckie
    I'm sorry about the double post, it's either because the computer screwed up, I screwed up, the subject is getting to me or I'm sick.....take your pick, either way, sorry!
  8. by   adrienurse
    Cheerful, you are at your sexual peak, he is at the other end of the spectrum. You need to go find yourself a nice 18 year old.
  9. by   adrienurse
    You can't make a bunny out of a buffalo.
  10. by   duckie
    You know that is very true, you are at your sexual peak. Your next mate should be a younger guy, one that can keep up with what you need and one that you can teach how to please you. There's a lot to be said about older woman/younger guy. Find one you can take to raise(no pun intended) and teach him right. You are a beautiful lady and any guy would be lucky to catch you for your beauty does not stop on the outside. I hope you find what you are looking for, you deserve it!!!!!
  11. by   live4today
    thanks for all the inspiring thoughts and truisms siblings! much obliged! :kiss

    regarding the "younger man" issue: adrie.....an 18 year old couldn't satisfy me when i was 18, so i'm 100 proof positive that an 18 year old couldn't handle me now.....especially now! come to think of it, when i was 18, i was married to the "older man", so i've never been with an 18 year old in my entire life!

    duckie.......you horny bee you! girl after my own hormones!

    my first husband was "the older man".....he may as well have been making out with our mattress because he sure never recognized that i mattered. :chuckle

    my second spouse (current mate) is a "younger man"...by 12 years, so maybe that isn't "young enough"...ya think? he is a much better lover than my first husband ever was...however, i have still had much better.

    actually, my best lover was puerto rican...and we were the same age! gosh darnit......i am the one that let him get away, but then he happened into my life two years after my first divorce, and i wasn't very nice towards fellas then. forgive me bill! you were great! :blushkiss
    Last edit by live4today on Oct 12, '02
  12. by   adrienurse
    I don't know, I think I'm gonna this is a job for Sue Johannson. You need to watch the Sunday Night Sex show on Oxygen.
  13. by   live4today
    Originally posted by adrienurse
    I don't know, I think I'm gonna this is a job for Sue Johannson. You need to watch the Sunday Night Sex show on Oxygen.
    I watch that show on occasion, Adrie! Can you believe that woman? She is something else! And, she says everything with a straight face, too........unlike my 70 year old mother who still has never mentioned the "S" word to me. How old is that woman anyway?
  14. by   l.rae
    Originally posted by adrienurse
    You can't make a bunny out of a buffalo.
    Viagra can!!!!...or so they say....slip some in his hot tottie and forget the 18 year olds

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