Mea culpa - recent events here

  1. I am posting this not to point fingers at anyone, but to express my own irritation at myself for recent threads. I engaged in pm's and some public posting on the recently departed threads about annoying members.

    By doing this, I violated my own cardinal rule of posting: never post anything you wouldn't be comfortable saying out loud to that person in real life.

    I'm not religious. Call it being unChristian, bad Karma, or negative energy; it's just wrong. I am ashamed to have been involved in any way. It will not happen in the future. As negative pm's are the online equivalent of whispering gossip, I also will refrain from pm's that are demeaning toward any member.

    I invite everyone to consider their treatment of others on this board, both past and future. If it's not up to your standards of real life conduct, then it's probably not up to code here. If someone annoys you, get over it and ignore them. None of us can know what's going on on the other end of the line where another live human being is sitting at a computer. And we should not lose sight of the fact that there is another person out there, not just a screen name.

    Regards,

    Marcey

    P.S. I don't need a flame suit for this post. I have more faith in the membership here than that.
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  2. 65 Comments

  3. by   canoehead
    Nice post, I concur.
  4. by   Jenny P
    Thanks, Nurse Ratched. I think we all may have needed that reminder. I know I did.
  5. by   vettech
    I'll be honest, I was almost afraid to read the threads about "annoying members" for fear I'd be high on the list.
  6. by   kavi
    Originally posted by Nurse Ratched
    I'm not religious. Call it being unChristian, bad Karma, or negative energy; it's just wrong. I am ashamed to have been involved in any way. It will not happen in the future. As negative pm's are the online equivalent of whispering gossip, I also will refrain from pm's that are demeaning toward any member.

    I invite everyone to consider their treatment of others on this board, both past and future. If it's not up to your standards of real life conduct, then it's probably not up to code here. If someone annoys you, get over it and ignore them. None of us can know what's going on on the other end of the line where another live human being is sitting at a computer. And we should not lose sight of the fact that there is another person out there, not just a screen name.
    Very well said. And I am humbled. It's so easy to get caught up in something without thinking. I participated in the thread with much amusement, most probably because some members 'hurt my feelings'. The childish part of me saw that I wasn't alone in resenting them and I violated my own personal rules also about negativity and gossip.

    I was truly stunned by how many people 'thought' they might be on the list. And sorry that it might have caused hurt or fear among people who had no reason to worry. In any case, after reading your post I must reconsider my own behavior.

    To all members, I am sorry for participating in something that might have been hurtful or upsetting to you. The allnurses community is a wonderful group, and I treasure our variety and the kaleidescope of views we share here.

    It's funny, one reason I became involved in EMS was that I just loved talking with all the people I met who worked the ambulances. When I start to stumble in my nursing studies, I say--I must continue, I can't give up allnurses!'

    Nurse Ratched, Thank you.

    Pam
  7. by   JonRN
    We all need reminding that it is a living breathing person we are talking about. I am guilty of being a little petty at times too. Sometimes they make themselves just too big of a target, and when your life isn't exactly going the way you would like it to, then it is easy to blast away at them (or me or you). Good post.
  8. by   hapeewendy
    I agree and can admit to feeling a twinge of guilt for calling some people annoying.And for that I apologize, however , some of the people I referenced have been less than nice to me at times, and although that is not justification or reason to post about them on a thread, I do believe I suffered from a human moment and vented my frustrations. it was silly and childish most definitely but I dont think its something we all need to beat ourselves up over.
    I stated, and still believe, that I know I annoy some people, and had they posted "hapeewendy you're as irritating as the thong in my buttcracK" I would deal... I do admit that not everyone can and would be able to deal with being told they are annoying.
    And there is something to be said for those users that purposely try to incite argument , conflict and strife on this board. I do not like that kind of behaviour ,and to call it annoying would be putting it mildly, and yes what Jon said about the target thing
    we are humans, and we need to remember that there is someone behind that "identity" with feelings and emotions, in the same breath, if you know that what you are posting could infuriate some people or cause conflict where it doesnt need to be then you might want to think before you post. I have caught myself a few times in that respect.
    I think (this is after reading the new TOS) that many of us (myself included) need to know that this is not really a public board , I forgot that and figured I could post at will and thats simply not the case.
    I think the people that post about other ppl being annoying, did not do this to break someones character down or crush someones feelings, I think that , well I for one, fell into the old trap where you turn to your friends (which i consider most of you - friends that is) and vent and be done with it.
    Just like when a co worker or a friend or some random stranger on the street annoys you.
    Next time I wont express my frustrations
    (well not here anyway)
    good post
  9. by   psychonurse
    I know that we all got into that juvenile behavior the other day and I am sorry for my part. I know there are times since I started on this message board that I have gotten upset cause I feel like people are ignoring me and never respond to my posts and then what do we do....make others feel not welcome and treat them like outsiders and that is not a way to make people feel that we care for them....I have received emails from nurses that state that they have put posts on here asking questions to help them through school and nobody will respond to them. Well I realize that some of these are bogus but we should be helping these people not, I know that many of you don't like this term but "Eating our Young."

    I am sorry for my actions also and I maybe caught up in the moment again sometime but I hope not and I hope to be good to everyone on this board. With the fact that there is nursing shortage and more nurses are going to be retiring and we will not be able to get more trained to cover this....I think that this is a place that we should be positive and help as much as we can. So thanks for letting me vent on this issue and hope that we can have fun without getting a little over indulgent.
  10. by   adrienurse
    I agree, I thought I was back in junior high there for a while.
  11. by   Rustyhammer
    Originally posted by hapeewendy
    I agree and can admit to feeling a twinge of guilt for calling some people annoying.And for that I apologize, however , some of the people I referenced have been less than nice to me at times, and although that is not justification or reason to post about them on a thread, I do believe I suffered from a human moment and vented my frustrations. it was silly and childish most definitely but I dont think its something we all need to beat ourselves up over.
    I stated, and still believe, that I know I annoy some people, and had they posted "hapeewendy you're as irritating as the thong in my buttcracK" I would deal... I do admit that not everyone can and would be able to deal with being told they are annoying.
    And there is something to be said for those users that purposely try to incite argument , conflict and strife on this board. I do not like that kind of behaviour ,and to call it annoying would be putting it mildly, and yes what Jon said about the target thing
    we are humans, and we need to remember that there is someone behind that "identity" with feelings and emotions, in the same breath, if you know that what you are posting could infuriate some people or cause conflict where it doesnt need to be then you might want to think before you post. I have caught myself a few times in that respect.
    I think (this is after reading the new TOS) that many of us (myself included) need to know that this is not really a public board , I forgot that and figured I could post at will and thats simply not the case.
    I think the people that post about other ppl being annoying, did not do this to break someones character down or crush someones feelings, I think that , well I for one, fell into the old trap where you turn to your friends (which i consider most of you - friends that is) and vent and be done with it.
    Just like when a co worker or a friend or some random stranger on the street annoys you.
    Next time I wont express my frustrations
    (well not here anyway)
    good post
    Good post yourself Wendy.
    -Russell
  12. by   Sleepyeyes
    I would just like to say that if anyone has a problem with me, or any of my posts, please PM me and we'll discuss it.

    Thanks.
  13. by   Q.
    Ratched and others,
    I thought your post was very humble but I agree here with Wendy on this point: I don't think it was something that is worth beating ourselves up over. Really, it isn't. I don't think as a result of participation or starting of the thread should be seen as a serious character flaw by any means.

    Sure, it was silly and some say high-schoolish. You bet. And you laughed. There have been many times when as an adult, you go and do something silly and wild that you shouldn't have done, and perhaps you got your hand slapped for it, but in the end it still felt good to laugh, giggle, be silly. When my neighbor turned 38 we went to a club and danced on the bar. We then proceeded to toiletpaper our neighbor's house and left him a box of Queer laundry detergent (a parody on Cheer). We were highschoolish? I guess. Silly, irresponsible, breaking of the rules? Definitely. Were we hung over the next day and did we tick off our newly TP'ed house neighbor? Yup. But we wouldn't have traded that day in for the world because it felt good. We move on and return to the adult world or work and responsibility.

    What I'm saying is, I don't think the thread was started with malicious intent and I don't think any of us were trying to be hostile. We were being silly and stupid and sometimes that's okay when it's self-corrected and when it doesn't become a permanent way of life. In other words, I'm trying to find the positive in what happened, (and I do believe there is some positive to it). We did it. We laughed. We're guilty. But we're not bad people. That's all.
    Last edit by Susy K on Apr 12, '03
  14. by   fab4fan
    And I do think that there is nothing wrong with venting in a PM to someone else; it's a private message, and this seems to me to be precisely one of the reasons to use it.

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