Marriage age

  1. Hey all!

    For those of y'all who are married, at what age did you get married? I'm 21 next month and my boyfriend is 27. We've talked about getting married, but I don't start school till the spring and he still has at least 2 years before he graduates, so he can't support both of us right now, which means that it'll be at least 2 more years till we can even think about it. I'm getting really anxious, though. We're Christians, so we won't have sex till we get married, and my mom says that's why I'm so ready to marry him. That's part of it, I suppose, but I just really want to be with him now. I want to come home after clinicals and him be there and be able to comfort me when I've had a bad day.

    Have any of y'all ever felt this way and what can I do about this? It's really starting to depress me being alone. (We live 45 minutes from each other.) And, please, no one tell me I'm just young and this will pass, yadda yadda yadda. I'm sick of that too. (I guess I just have issues.)
    Any input would be greatly appreciated.
  2. Visit MidwifeWannaB profile page

    About MidwifeWannaB

    Joined: Nov '02; Posts: 175; Likes: 2


  3. by   live4today
    Hello NurseChic

    Renee at your service! You mentioned that you and your boyfriend are both Christians, so let me recommend a book for you both to read. If after reading this book, you still feel the time is ripe for you to marry instead of waiting until he's done with school, and able to support you both while you attend school, then go ahead with your marital plans.

    The book is titled "Marriage Without Regrets" by Kay Arthur. It can be bought at any Christian Book store...maybe at Barnes and Nobles Bookstore, too (not sure though).

    I'm currently reading that book to help me in my own marriage, and I highly recommend it to anyone contemplating marriage, or anyone already married regardless of how long they've been married.

    No one can tell you "when" you should marry. Only you and your boyfriend can determine what is right for you both. Search your hearts more, look at the reality of the most serious step you'll ever take in your lives (parenting running a close second), and then seek counsel from the best marriage therapist of all times...our Father God Himself who wrote the book on "Family Living"..."Marriage Counseling"...and "How To Raise Children"...along with many more books in the Holy Word that help guide Christians in our daily walk with Him.

    I wish you and your boyfriend the best that life has to offer. :kiss
  4. by   Ortho_RN
    Don't rush it... Me and my husband starting dating in 1994, we got married in July of 2000.. I at times thought it would never happen.. But my husband wanted to have finished school and have a job before we got married, which was very smart...

    I have no regrets...

    Best of luck
  5. by   whipping girl in 07
    My husband and I got married when I was 20 and he was 19 (I'm nine months older than him). We were both in school and we made it, although we both ended up taking time off before we finished. If I had it to do over, I'd do it the same way. We wanted to be together, so we got married. We've been together for 10 years and married for 8.5.

    My motto is "Don't let lack of money keep you from getting married or having kids, because you'll NEVER have enough money." As you get older, the amount of money that is enough becomes a bigger and bigger number. We make a lot of money, but it's still not enough to do everything we want to do. I'm not sure I can think of an amount that would be the perfect amount to live the way we want to live. Even the lottery doesn't seem like enough. When I look at my bank balance, house and car now, I honestly cannot see how I lived on the $130 a week I brought home when I was working and going to school full time my sophomore year of college and still had money to go out and go shopping and eat out.

    It doesn't work for everyone. My husband's niece got married almost two years ago (they were both 19 and in school) and they didn't even make it a year.

    There's just not a perfect age to get married. You have to be mature and in it for the long haul. It's a difficult decision and I wish you luck.
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    i was 25 when i married my husband...nearly 14 years ago. no regrets....waited til 29 to have the first's not about a number but readiness...some are NEVER ready. some are BORN ready....know thyself.
  7. by   Rustyhammer
    Don't be in a rush to get married.
    We were 25 (or 26 I don't remember that well).
    You should use your youth to go play around enough to know what you want and what you don't. Youth is intended to have fun! Go out there and play. Plenty of time to settle down later.
  8. by   adrienurse
    AAAKK! Don't talk to me about that shyt!
  9. by   Tweety
    I was 30 when I got "married" the first time. Last one and a half years. This last time, been together six years, I was 37.

    I may be old fashioned, but in my mind a couple who marries must be old enough to be independent. If you both are dependent on others to make ends meet, then it's not time. (But if you are living on student loans and not your parents, then that's a bit different). Just my thoughts.

    Don't let anyone tell you what you can and can not do. Age ain't nothing but a number. I know a couple celebrating 30 years together. He was 16 when they got married.
  10. by   MidwifeWannaB
    Thank all of y'all so much. I'm so glad to be able to get advice from people who are so much more knowledgeable than I am!

    Thank you again.
  11. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by adrienurse
    AAAKK! Don't talk to me about that shyt!
    :roll I feel ya, sister!
  12. by   Beach_RN
    I was 22 when I married my husband he was 30. I started dating him when I was 20. Will be married 13 years in May.

    No regrets! It was the right decision for me! and I stress right decision for me!

    Now would I want my daughter getting married at 22, NO... I would want her to go to college, live her life.. take some road trips with the girls..all that fun stuff!

  13. by   JenKatt
    I just got married this past March. I'm 24, my hubby then was 26. We were together for 2 years at that point.
    A few years ago I would have said I wouldn't get married until I was 28 or so, till I had lived life. I'm living a way better life with my hubby. I can't imagine waiting. But then again we're both independent professionals, who could support ourselves. If we had to rely on family, I don't see it working...
  14. by   memphisgurl
    I got married at 18, been married for 11 years. No regrets!