Love and Marriage

  1. I had coffee with a friend I haven't seen in a while. He just graduated med school and is enjoying his residency in an osteopathic hospital. A couple of years ago he was fortunate to fall truly madly deeply in love with a Korean student and they plan on spending the rest of their life together. They are such a lovely couple.

    Unfortunately his partner is not a citazen and is due to have his visa expire, but can't go back to Korea because he missed his mandatory military service and would be arrested. They have three months to come up with some sort of solution. He's probably going to have to be a student again, studying something he doesn't want to study to remain in this country.

    Of course if they were opposite sexed they could marry and that would be the end of that. They have even considered finding a female for him to marry for convience and to keep him in the country, political asylum, etc. options have all been worried and fretted about.

    Tell me again why gay marriage is a bad thing?

    Anyway, send out some positive thoughts that they get to keep their love alive and it works out for them. They are truly lovely lovely people and need to stay together. Thanks.
    •  
  2. 28 Comments

  3. by   itsme
    My grandma who was married for almost 60 years used to say you will be very lucky to find honest true love once in a lifetime. It sounds as though your friend has found it. I wish them the best of luck, and I hope everything works out for them.
  4. by   elkpark
    Well, y'know, it's lookin' like marriage might well be an option in MA after May 17 ... I did hear on NPR the other day that couples won't be able to just fly to MA to get married, as they did with San Francisco, because MA has a residency requirement for marriage, but the reporter didn't give details about how long they require. Might be worth looking into ...

    All best wishes for your friend -- another example, as you noted, of how ridiculous and unfair the "str8s only" restriction is.

    Of course, if going back to school to "study something he doesn't want to study" will keep him in the country, how bad is that, really? Worse than going back to Korea and getting arrested?? How much does he hate school??? (It would sure be a no-brainer for me! :chuckle )
  5. by   Jay-Jay
    How 'bout moving to Canada? Lots of gay couples coming to Toronto to get hitched!
  6. by   LesJenRN
    I wish them luck...what a bummer of a situation. Have they consulted a lawyer....imigration lawyer?
    arent you supposed to be on vacation?????
  7. by   jnette
    Quote from Jay-Jay
    How 'bout moving to Canada? Lots of gay couples coming to Toronto to get hitched!

    Wonderful idea !!! Tweety, run this by them ! Certainly something to think about....

    I do hope they find a solution. Can his partner be enrolled just PART-time, or does he have to be a fulltime student?

    Heck, if it's just part-ime, then they can still have a normal life, work, and he can just take a few courses here and there just for the heck of it... there's always SOMETHING to learn... I don't care if it's CALLIGRAPHY, for crying out loud ! Writing, art, music... any number of neat things to get into.

    Please keep us posted... if we come up with any bright ideas, we'll sure let you know ! :kiss
  8. by   Tweety
    Quote from elkpark
    Of course, if going back to school to "study something he doesn't want to study" will keep him in the country, how bad is that, really? Worse than going back to Korea and getting arrested?? How much does he hate school??? (It would sure be a no-brainer for me! :chuckle )

    This is probably the best option for them at present. However, it is going to cost a lot of money that they don't really have right now. Medical residents don't make a lot of money. But when he graduates, by then the MD can set up a practice and hire him.

    They thought about Massachusettes, because of the law that states something about a marriage in one state is legal in all states. But they only have three months and Bush is doing his best to change the constitution.
  9. by   Tweety
    Quote from Jay-Jay
    How 'bout moving to Canada? Lots of gay couples coming to Toronto to get hitched!

    A whole other ball of wax. In the worst of his anguish he has considered leaving the country. Europe might be a good place too. But then would his MD be valid?
  10. by   Tweety
    Quote from LesJenRN
    I wish them luck...what a bummer of a situation. Have they consulted a lawyer....imigration lawyer?
    arent you supposed to be on vacation?????

    I'm not sure if they've contacted a lawyer yet. They are very well versed on the laws though.

    Yes I'm on vacation. It's muggy and rainy here. I went shopping today. Just to be not working is enough. But I'm leaving for Miami beach on Wednesday!
  11. by   Tweety
    Quote from jnette
    Wonderful idea !!! Tweety, run this by them ! Certainly something to think about....

    I do hope they find a solution. Can his partner be enrolled just PART-time, or does he have to be a fulltime student?

    Heck, if it's just part-ime, then they can still have a normal life, work, and he can just take a few courses here and there just for the heck of it... there's always SOMETHING to learn... I don't care if it's CALLIGRAPHY, for crying out loud ! Writing, art, music... any number of neat things to get into.

    Please keep us posted... if we come up with any bright ideas, we'll sure let you know ! :kiss

    Thanks jnette. I really don't know what the education requirements about full-time verses part-time is.

    Thanks for the support!
  12. by   jnette
    Quote from 3rdShiftGuy
    They thought about Massachusettes, because of the law that states something about a marriage in one state is legal in all states. But they only have three months and Bush is doing his best to change the constitution.
    Tweets, if they are still marrying couples in Mass., why wait? Why not go NOW, tie the knot, and if it means they might have to live in Mass. for awhile until this whole thing gets sorted out, then so be it ! It's a beautiful state, and lots of medical opportunities there for your friend.

    Also, Dick Gephart is now becoming VERY vocal about this issue... did you see him on TV last night with his gay daughter? I don't think Bush will have an easy time of this... too many ppl oppose changing the constitution... and with Gephart now really pressing for eqaul rights, I believe others will join him as well.

    So tell your friends there is yet HOPE !!! And that is worth a LOT.

    Will inquire with my sis about some options as well... she has more access to info on this issue than I do up here in my little neck of the woods. And she has friends from literally all OVER the world !

    Will be happy to bring this to her attention and get some input... if it's ok with you?
  13. by   Tweety
    Please do.

    He's in the middle of his first year of medical residency and can't pack up to move to Mass to establish residency there are get married. Perhaps when push comes to shove, they'd be willing to do anything for love.

    Thanks.
  14. by   jnette
    OK, Tweety.

    I should be able to catch her at home tomorrow as it's her day off.

    She's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and has lots and lots of contacts... perhaps she'll have some insight, or SOMETHING ...that none of us have even thought about yet !

    It's worth a shot. I'll get back with you, OK ?

    Tell your friends to hang in there... love DOES conquer ALL. :kiss

Must Read Topics


close