Living Wills

  1. I figure it's time I act like an adult: get a living will and write my will - not that there's going to be much to divide.

    I got a packet at my hospital and it's about 30 pages long. I'm thoroughly confused! I look at my parents, and all they have is a single page that states what they want, don't want with signatures and dates at the bottom.

    No way can I afford to have an attorney do this.

    Can I just type up a living will, stating my wishes, sign it and have it notarized? I know I can do that with a will but I can't decide how I will divide my lack of assets without hurting anyone's feelings.

    And I hate having to decide who to give med POA to. My mom will be too grief stricken and could go against my wishes and my db doesn't care about me (another story). My dad can't decide if he wants to watch golf or football on tv so I don't think he'd be a good choice. I guess I could go with my best friend. I just hate to put anyone in this spot. And I've seen too many living wills ignored by others who want their dying loved one to suffer in a LTCF just so they can 'live'.

    Essentially, do you really recommend going through an attorney? In about 5 years I'll be one and could do it myself but with my health problems I don't want to wait.

    Now I understand why many don't have living wills - it's hard to think of your own death. And what I want goes against my religion so that's another thing to deal with with my parents. I do not want to be kept alive if I will have no quality but the Catholic religion disagrees. I do not want to lie in a LTCF with bedsores, lying in my own uring and stool being fed baby food, drooling and not able to speak.

    My mom said this once: "you'll be the one slipping the nurse a $50 bill to push a little extra morphine to od me and kill me." My response: "don't be ridiculous. I have medical POA."
  2. 1 Comments

  3. by   nursemary9

    I got the papers from my hospital and we used those.
    They were quite simple, actually.

    Now, if yours are difficult, there are programs available; also there are some available on the internet, I believe.

    As far as POA, I also found it a bit difficult. My Mom is simply too old--she's 90 & I trfuly expect that she will pass on first; not absolutely true, but most likely.

    My Sister lives accross the country--not a good choice.

    Well, My Husband is my first choice & if he is too ill or something happens, I named my sis-in-law, as she has a good head on her shoulders.
    My DH--we did these at the same time---he named me as POA & if for some reason I can't then that same sis-in-law. None of us want any extraordinary measures taken.

    Now, we had a family meeting & we all discussed these issues, so that everyone would know what our wishes were. We all have copies of these documents. The other thing we discussed at this meeting was what we all wish in the way of funerals. My DH & I want to be cremated. We wanted everyone to know this so there is no problem when the time comes.

    As far as a will, DH & I both really need to do these, but haven't gotten around to that. We thought the other issues were more important.

    I don't know if that helps at all.