LIST JOKES..ie top 20, etc...

  1. Top 20 ways to say "Your Fly Is Open"

    20) The cucumber has left the salad.
    19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
    18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd
    is hanging out.
    17) You've got Windows in your laptop.
    16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
    15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
    14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
    13) Paging Mr. Johnson.. Paging Mr. Johnson..
    12) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and
    locked position.
    11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
    10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
    9) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
    8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
    7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
    6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!
    5) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
    4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
    3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
    2) I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

    AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR FLY IS UNZIPPED...

    1) I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts.
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  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   RNinICU
    Sunny, I don't know how you come up with these, but they are hilarious.:roll :roll :roll :roll We can always count on you for a laugh.
  4. by   JailRN
    Phew! Can't top this!! Good one
  5. by   sunnygirl272
    TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN THE OFFICE,.... AREN'T?
    10. I need to whip it out by 5.
    9. Mind if I use your laptop?
    8. Just stick it in my box.
    7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
    6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!
    5. HMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid!
    4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
    3. It's an entry level position.
    2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
    And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but at the office isn't:
    1 .It's not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!

    TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN A LAW FIRM, AREN'T:
    10. Have you looked through her briefs?
    9. He is one hard judge .
    8. Counselor, let's do this in my chambers.
    7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
    6. Is it a penal offense?
    5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
    4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
    3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
    2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
    And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in law, but isn't
    1.Think you can get me off?

    TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY BUT IN GOLF, AREN'T:
    10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
    9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
    8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
    7. Look at the size of his putter.
    6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
    5. Mind if I join your threesome?
    4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
    3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
    2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.
    And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn't
    1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first

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