The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I don't think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, I explained it was an interesting ?, I would ponder it and let her know.
Old age I decided is a gift. I'm now probably for the first time in my life the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes& the sagging butt. Often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, I don't apologize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life,my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged I've become more kind to myself,less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or not making my bed or buying that cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon;before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4am and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, an if I, at the sametime, wish to weep over a lost love..I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a buldging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten And I eventually remember the important things. Sure over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one,or when a child suffers,even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what gives us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray & to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed & so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't ? myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your ?, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been,or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.(If I feel like it).
Oct 11, '07
[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]So beautifully said
Oct 11, '07
what a beautiful post, sharona.
when i was 22, i remember asking my mom, how it felt to be "old".
she was 50 at the time.
her answer isn't as important (nothing profound) as my fear of growing old was.
i don't know if the following is a form of acceptance, or mere coincidence, but i have found:
- that as physical beauty fades, a spiritual maturity is evolving.
- i am much more aware of my responsibilities to the younger generation.
- i enjoy hearing about the issues of the 20-somethings, remembering the righteousness and chuckle, knowingly.
- i am increasingly aware of our connections to ea other, and am enjoying a new type of love for man.
- that i feel pity for those who are driven by material gains...and that is how they define "success".
- similarly, i feel sorry for those who succumb to the insistence of eternal youth, and need to get their next fix of botox. our shells are only that.
- so many are missing out on a tremendous journey by being preoccupied with virtually empty and meaningless visions.
- that even the worst of times, are usually blessings w/o disguise.
- i have no regrets.
- i am aware of my ltd time here on earth, and try and make my existence meaningful.
- beauty is not defined by a perfect body or flawless skin. (i've always known that)
- that so far, i've done an amazing job at raising my children.
and they give me the credit, lucky me!
- and finally, i never thought i'd be nearing 50.
time truly does fly by, so make ea moment count.
- the best has yet to come...
Oct 11, '07
Thank you Lesie:
I just wanted to bring some humor, peace and enjoyment in the break room. It's getting noisy out there..........
And what you have replied with just puts a longer smile on my face! Thanks!