Kinder and gentler ways to say someone is stupid

  1. I was just reading the thread about non-compliant patients, and got to thinking about all the ones I've known over the years. Now, in the interest of diplomacy, I present a list of Kinder & Gentler Ways to Say A Patient is Stupid:

    1) Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
    2) A few marbles shy of a collection.
    3) Forgot to pay his brain bill.
    4) Too much yardage between the goal posts.
    5) A couple of buttons shy of a coat.
    6) Slinky's kinked.
    7) The lights are on, but there's no one home.
    8) Skylight's leaking a little.
    9) Doesn't have 2 brain cells to rub together.
    10) Receiver's off the hook.
    11) Body by Fisher---Brains by Mattel.
    12) All foam, no beer.
    13) Toys in the attic.
    14) Missing some of his attic insulation.
    15) A few Froot Loops shy of a full bowl.
    16) He has some buttons missing on his remote control.
    17) Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
    18) He suffers from cranio-rectal inversion.
    19) Couldn't find his arse with both hands and a traffic cop directing signals.
    20) Has an IQ equal to his shoe size.

    Feel free to add to this list!!!!!
  2. 60 Comments

  3. by   hoolahan
    Not the sharpest tool in the shed...that is one of my faves.

    Thanks for posting this, I have had an overdose of stupid today, and needed a good laugh!
  4. by   SmilingBluEyes
    *Not the Brightest Lighthouse in the Harbor * is a personal fave. But I do not classify these as "kinder and gentler" just funnier.

    I like Delirium's referral to "clue phone".....maybe you could say:

    Has no connection to the Clue Phone....or something like that...
  5. by   baseline
    His recorder is on erase.
  6. by   baseline
    A few watts short of dim.....
  7. by   fab4fan
    A couple sandwiches short of a picnic

    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

    Desperately in need of a neuron donation
  8. by   researchrabbit
    The elevator goes up...but no lights are on.
  9. by   cactus wren
    not the brightest bulb in the pack

    dumber than a box of rocks
  10. by   SmilingBluEyes
    for a couple who are stupid:

    Between the two of them, I swear I heard a couple synapses fire.

    A coworker said that once...I nearly died.
  11. by   VivaLasViejas
    :roll :roll :roll
  12. by   Sable's mom
    a couple of fries short of a happy meal.

    a couple of crayons short of a box
  13. by   Mkue
    Originally posted by fab4fan
    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

    one of my
  14. by   sunnygirl272
    a few ants short of a picnic...

    the IQ of a gnat and the personality to match....

    lights are on/nobody home