Kinder and gentler ways to say someone is stupid

  1. I was just reading the thread about non-compliant patients, and got to thinking about all the ones I've known over the years. Now, in the interest of diplomacy, I present a list of Kinder & Gentler Ways to Say A Patient is Stupid:

    1) Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
    2) A few marbles shy of a collection.
    3) Forgot to pay his brain bill.
    4) Too much yardage between the goal posts.
    5) A couple of buttons shy of a coat.
    6) Slinky's kinked.
    7) The lights are on, but there's no one home.
    8) Skylight's leaking a little.
    9) Doesn't have 2 brain cells to rub together.
    10) Receiver's off the hook.
    11) Body by Fisher---Brains by Mattel.
    12) All foam, no beer.
    13) Toys in the attic.
    14) Missing some of his attic insulation.
    15) A few Froot Loops shy of a full bowl.
    16) He has some buttons missing on his remote control.
    17) Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
    18) He suffers from cranio-rectal inversion.
    19) Couldn't find his arse with both hands and a traffic cop directing signals.
    20) Has an IQ equal to his shoe size.

    Feel free to add to this list!!!!!
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  2. 60 Comments

  3. by   hoolahan
    Not the sharpest tool in the shed...that is one of my faves.

    Thanks for posting this, I have had an overdose of stupid today, and needed a good laugh!
  4. by   SmilingBluEyes
    *Not the Brightest Lighthouse in the Harbor * is a personal fave. But I do not classify these as "kinder and gentler" just funnier.

    I like Delirium's referral to "clue phone".....maybe you could say:

    Has no connection to the Clue Phone....or something like that...
  5. by   baseline
    His recorder is on erase.
  6. by   baseline
    A few watts short of dim.....
  7. by   fab4fan
    A couple sandwiches short of a picnic

    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

    Desperately in need of a neuron donation
  8. by   researchrabbit
    The elevator goes up...but no lights are on.
  9. by   cactus wren
    not the brightest bulb in the pack



    dumber than a box of rocks
  10. by   SmilingBluEyes
    for a couple who are stupid:

    Between the two of them, I swear I heard a couple synapses fire.

    A coworker said that once...I nearly died.
  11. by   VivaLasViejas
    :roll :roll :roll
  12. by   Sable's mom
    a couple of fries short of a happy meal.


    a couple of crayons short of a box
  13. by   Mkue
    Originally posted by fab4fan
    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

    one of my favorites..lol
  14. by   sunnygirl272
    a few ants short of a picnic...



    the IQ of a gnat and the personality to match....



    lights are on/nobody home

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