Alright, damn it........I've been surfing for hours now. Flipping from the childfree websites to the mommy/parenting websites.
Look, lets just get right to the point of this post. I turn 30 in a matter of months. I have never been pregnant, have no children.
Dh and I were supposed to start ttc next year....spring, maybe?
Now I'm on the fence. Look, every time I think about having a kid, I think about my freedom going down the drain, my life ending, a ball and chain. On the flipside, I think about a wonderful child, fulfillment, family, the miracle of pregnancy and birth.
My friends that are younger than me already have kids. My friends that are older than me don't have kids, but are struggling with infertility.
I'm honestly NOT SURE if I wanna have kids......................like, EVER. I mean, okay, when I even say the WORD 'pregnant' out loud in reference to myself, I get NAUSEATED.
Is this normal???? My bio clock is ticking folks. My eggs are shriveling. Tick tock tick tock. Part of me wants a family so badly. I love kids. But part of me says........OMG, my life will END!!!
Please someone tell me I'm not nuts.