Just what you needed to know

  1. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
    enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
    (Hardly seems worth it.)


    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced
    to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
    (Now that's more like it!)


    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
    squirt blood 30 feet.
    (O.M.G.!)


    A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
    (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)


    A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
    (Creepy.)
    (I'm still not over the pig.)


    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
    (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work!)


    The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
    its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
    ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")


    The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
    the length of a football field.
    (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)


    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)


    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


    Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Something I always wanted to know.)


    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
    ( Hmmmmmm........)


    Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
    people.
    (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
    (OK, so that would be a good thing....)


    A cat's urine glows under a black light.
    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
    (I know some people like that.)


    Starfish have no brains.
    (I know some people like that too.)


    Polar bears are left-handed.
    (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)


    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (What about that pig??)


    Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the
    stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe
    even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone


    Dave

    :roll
    •  
  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   Love-A-Nurse
    dave, thanks for the facial expressions! :chuckle :d
  4. by   kelligrl
    That's some good stuff....Wow, 30 minutes huh??
  5. by   CEN35
    "an ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
    (i know some people like that.)


    starfish have no brains.
    (i know some people like that too.)

    humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (what about that pig??)"



    omg! i was rolling off these three!!!!!!! :roll


    me
  6. by   ~FloridaCCRN~
    Originally posted by Dplear
    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
    enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
    (Hardly seems worth it.)


    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced
    to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
    (Now that's more like it!)


    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
    squirt blood 30 feet.
    (O.M.G.!)


    A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
    (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)


    A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
    (Creepy.)
    (I'm still not over the pig.)


    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
    (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work!)


    The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
    its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
    ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")


    The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
    the length of a football field.
    (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)


    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)


    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


    Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Something I always wanted to know.)


    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
    ( Hmmmmmm........)


    Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
    people.
    (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
    (OK, so that would be a good thing....)


    A cat's urine glows under a black light.
    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
    (I know some people like that.)


    Starfish have no brains.
    (I know some people like that too.)


    Polar bears are left-handed.
    (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)


    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (What about that pig??)


    Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the
    stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe
    even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone


    Dave

    :roll
    :roll
    you've just made my day Dave!
  7. by   live4today
    these are my favorites.....wonder why? :chuckle

    a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
    (in my next life, i want to be a pig.)

    some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (i still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

    the strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
    ( hmmmmmm........)

    right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
    people.
    (if you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

    humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (what about that pig??)

    and...the only thing i want to add is:

    i want to be "half lion/half pig" so i can have both "quantity and quality" at the same time. :chuckle

    i'm right handed...guess i'll live 9 years longer than the average left handed person...too bad both my spouses are right handed, too. (okay...just teasing)

    as for the tongue being the strongest muscle in the body...i can buy that because with the tongue we bring all things good or evil under our control....just like the bible says.

    last, but never least...thank you, god, for making me human...and making a second "alternative" to not being human....hello my friend "the dolphin".
    :kiss
  8. by   Vsummer1
    Originally posted by cheerfuldoer
    ...too bad both my spouses are RIGHT handed, too.
    Isn't there a law against that? (okay...just teasing)

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