Just Venting......no need for responses

  1. Sitting here at 1.30 am, my mind racing, my stress levels through the roof.
    For the last 9 years I have been a full time carer for my wife who has Cerebral Palsey. In 1995, my grandmother died 6th sept., and my first daughter was born in december, in 1997, 6th sept., my mother died, october 2000 saw the birth of our second daughter. June 2001, my wife suffered a right cva following which I spent 2 weeks in ICU after suffering Atrial Fibrulation due to stress. 11th march 2003 saw the arrival of my third daughter, an unexpected and unplanned pregnancy and high risk due to my wifes condition.
    2003/2004 has seen my wife suffer another mild stroke and several TIA's.
    So now I sit here, carrying out my duties as a full time carer to a disabled wife and 3 daughters aged 8,3 and 1, and studying nursing full time externally at the same time.
    The closest I have come to a break is when I get to go and do my clinicals and as you all know, that is not really a break

    Anyway thats enough whineing for 1 day, after all no matter how bad things seem there is always someone worse off.
    This bulletin board keeps me sane somedays (other days it just makes me realize I am not the only insane one lol)
    Thankyou everyone at allnurses, you guys and gals are the greatest.
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  2. 39 Comments

  3. by   karenG
    :kiss

    for being one of the good guys!

    Karen
  4. by   scrubs70
    Quote from karenG
    :kiss

    for being one of the good guys!

    Karen
    Thanks Karen, sorry about all that, just one of those days, just all gets a bit much some times
  5. by   happystudent
    Try to stay positive! Your daughters are a blessing and you are an angel. I am sorry to hear of your wifes condition. She is so fortunate to have you as a husband :angel2:
  6. by   scrubs70
    Quote from happystudent
    Try to stay positive! Your daughters are a blessing and you are an angel. I am sorry to hear of your wifes condition. She is so fortunate to have you as a husband :angel2:
    Thankyou for the kind words
  7. by   Tweety
    You are an angel indeed.
  8. by   Spidey's mom
    Yes, you are a hero in my eyes when lots of people would walk away.

    You are allowed to vent and actually to ask for help. Your plate is overfilled. Are there any organizations in your area that offer respite care where someone can come in and help and give you a little breather? You are going to burn yourself out my dear.

    Had a friend going through trying times and I ran into her at the post office where when I said Hi, how are things, tears welled up in her eyes and she said nothing, just sobbed. I hugged her, took her kids out of her car and sent her home for some alone time. She took a long walk, ate a good lunch and took a nap and when I took the kids home she thanked me for the respite. A bunch of us decided to do the same thing for her while she was struggling. It has come back to me many times when I've needed help.

    We need to reach out to folks who just need a little breather or a friend to talk to or a good long hug.

    Wish I was closer . .. . look for some help. Don't be afraid to ask.

    Best wishes,

    steph
  9. by   jnette
    (((HUGS))) Scrubs....

    I have read your posts several times in the past, and I must say, I am in awe of your inner strength and your endurance. I have wanted to respond before, yet found myself struggling to find the words I needed to express how I feel about your situation and what you must deal with on a daily basis.

    Kudos to you for all that you ARE as well as all that you do. :kiss

    Know that you are a living example of unconditional LOVE to your wife and your children.

    Please, please do not neglect your own needs, however. It is not seflish to want/need a break... respite. Please take some time for yourself if at all possible.. somehow. You can only do and be so much. Allow others to assisit when you find yourself threadbare... better yet, BEFORE you get to that point. You MUST consider your own mental/emotional/physical health if you are to continue being the shining example you are... and if you want to continue providing your family with the great love and tenderness you obviously have for them. Spread yourself too thin, and not only will YOU suffer, but so will they.

    I'm so very glad you have found this palce to come to share, ... to
    laugh, cry, even to be silly if you dare ! We are here for you, come and be refreshed !
  10. by   PennyLane
    I didn't know you were going through all this. You can only do your best, and it sounds like your best is quite a lot!! Nursing school alone is quite stressful without caring for your wife and three children. You sound like a truly wonderful person and your family is very lucky to have you. Please feel free to vent or come here for support anytime.

    Mel
  11. by   scrubs70
    Thankyou everyone, you guys really are the greatest.
    I tried to get respite at one stage, and all they could offer me was 3 hours 10am to 1 pm, 1 friday a month, but I would have to have the girls, and I had to have lunch etc prepared prior to them arriving, great help......NOT.
    Anyway, here I am at 7.30 am of yet another day, sun is shining, just returned from my daily 20 mile bike ride, girls have just woken up and want breakfast, so with smile on my face it is time to embark on another wonderful day.
    Love you guys, I can leave my PC on allnurses and just come and go as I please through the day, getting regular fixes.
    My name is Richard and I am an addict
    Everybody have a wonderful day
  12. by   Audreyfay
    Richard, I, too, wish I were closer to help you. You are a saint. You will be in my thoughts.
  13. by   PennyLane
    Quote from scrubs70
    My name is Richard and I am an addict
    Everybody have a wonderful day
    Hi Richard! If this site is what you're addicted to, then I think you're doing pretty well!
  14. by   scrubs70
    Quote from Mel D
    Hi Richard! If this site is what you're addicted to, then I think you're doing pretty well!
    Is there anything else :chuckle:

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