Just A Duck-Nibbling Kind of Day

  1. Ever have one of those days when every petty, annoying, rotten thing that can possibly happen does, and you work yourself into exhaustion getting absolutely nothing done?

    An acquaintance of mine recently described such a day as akin to being nibbled to death by ducks; until today, however, I didn't fully appreciate the nuances of this expression.

    Now, Friday is what's considered my "short day" at work; in theory, I'm supposed to go in around 10 AM and leave for the weekend around 2 PM or so. In reality, the 10 AM part usually happens, but I almost never get out of there before 5 PM. Generally, this is OK with me; since I'm salaried, no one keeps track of my time, and even though I work more hours than I get paid for, I don't feel abused because a few of those hours are pure downtime, when I just play on the computer or shoot the breeze with staff and residents. I also didn't feel the least bit guilty this morning when, during the course of the first visit I've had ALONE with my oldest dd in over a year, I decided to go in around an hour later than usual.

    No problem, right? Well, not until I was halfway out the door and realized I didn't have my car keys with me. My office keys, building keys, med-room keys were dangling on my purse-strap, but not the one that starts my car so I can GET to work.

    What's worse, I knew where the keys were.........locked in my bedroom downstairs. There are two ways to get in, through the bedroom itself and through the bathroom, but of course I'd locked both doors on my way out, never bothering to make sure I had my house and car keys. (We keep it locked up for two reasons. They're named Chris and Ben. They know where we keep the extra stashes of cereal and snacks, they know our fridge is stocked with soda and milk, and they know where the birthday and Christmas presents are hidden. The walk-in closet is also where the gun and the pirate swords live.)

    Here's where I confess that I know a few things about breaking and entering. I learned them from one of my younger daughter's ex-boyfriends, and I've used them to get into the house on the rare occasions when I've been locked out. (And yes, I've even broken into my kids' bedrooms when I had suspicions about what they might be up to.) So I grabbed a butter knife and a screwdriver, just in case I had to take the whole doorknob off, and proceeded to attempt to pry the bathroom door open.

    Under normal circumstances, I can pop the average lock in less than ten seconds. But my dh had done some reinforcement of our security locks downstairs, and after ten MINUTES I still had had no luck. I tried the bedroom door next. No luck there either. About this time Amanda came downstairs to see what I was up to, and she tried taking the BR door off its hinges while I worked on the BA door lock. Neither one of us could get through.

    In the meantime, I was feeling panicky because I'd said I'd be at work by eleven, and it was going on eleven-thirty already. I was getting ready to just kick the door in, knowing my husband would have a conniption---but desperate times call for desperate measures!---when Amanda suddenly piped up: "What about the window, is it open?"

    Can anyone say "DUH"? It's been consistently over 80 degrees each day........of COURSE the window was open. So Amanda took the screen out, pushed the window open fully, pulled herself up and over the sill, and had that door open in a flash!! I phoned work, said I'd be there in twenty, and was on my way. I also apologized to my daughter, and hoped she wouldn't wind up hurting her baby because its grandma was such a dope.

    Five minutes later, I was on the highway behind a semi truck that was moving out with all the speed of a tractor. I couldn't pass him, couldn't even see around him...........luckily he pulled over when the traffic backed up behind him, and I was finally able to make the speed limit.

    THEN, three miles from the building, I got stuck again.........this time for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG freight train. ARRRRRRRRRGH!!!!! I used be fascinated with trains as a child; now they are nothing but a PITA, because they always seem to need to uncouple at busy intersections and hold up traffic for 15-20 minutes in some parts of town. People have complained about it for years, but nothing ever gets done, and indeed the problem only gets worse as the area grows and there is more traffic; anyway, the beast finally chugged its way out of town, and I turned into the driveway at precisely five minutes to noon.......that is, right after I barely missed a bicyclist who didn't bother to obey the STOP sign.

    So I strode into the building after trying to arrange both my face and my thoughts into more attractive lines, and there were six residents all lined up at the front desk, needing to talk to me an hour ago! Trouble was, my Lasix was kicking in, and I had to go to the bathroom so bad I think my back teeth were floating..........so I just waved to them and dashed down the hall as fast as I could go. Unfortunately, the restroom closest to my office was occupied, and when I went to the other one, it was an unholy mess. Some of our residents are none too careful where they "aim"---either end, if you know what I mean---and I had to clean up before I could sit down. YEEEEEECCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!

    On top of it all, dh got upset with me when I confessed my sins of yanking the bathroom door partway off the hinges and trying to kick the bedroom door in, plus I goofed when giving a new resident her TB test and went too far in with the needle, necessitating a second stick (which did NOT impress the retired RN one bit ).

    But now that the day is over---thankfully---I've got to say that my friend's nibbled-to-death-by-ducks analogy is spot on. Sure glad there aren't too many like that!!!
  2. 39 Comments

  3. by   Corvette Guy
    you have earned a great weekend... so,

    hope you have a nice weekend!

  4. by   dianah
    Oh, Marla!! Certainly we've all had days like that saying, "when it rains, it pours!" Thankfully they don't happen very often (only often enough to get singled out and filed away in the "shaking my head over THAT one!" category). And you STILL have that sense of humor (enough to write about the experience!!) Give yourself a hug and be good to yourself tonight. Happy weekend!!
  5. by   VivaLasViejas
    Thanks, y'all.

    Now, I left that building fully staffed for this weekend..........if I so much as hear a PEEP at 0600 from a staff member panicking because "day shift hasn't showed up yet!" I am going to have one of my dh's patented conniptions!!!
  6. by   Roy Fokker
    Hi Marla,

    I pulled this story from a couple years ago.

    Today was weird. I had this whole stack of bills to mail, plus a sealed envelope with the details of the family I was supposed to assess. Guess what I did with it?

    Yep, put it in the mailbox along with the rest of the bills to be delivered. It didn't even strike my stupid brain to put those in different coat pockets so that I won't mix 'em up. Sometimes, I can be such a CLASS IDIOT I tell you...

    So I hung around the mailbox for an hour in far-below-freezing weather with a howling wind, waiting for Mr. Mailman to showup so that I might grab the envelope but to no avail. So I had to dash to school and type up a new consent form from memory. Then once I mailed that in my instructors mailbox, I was out on my way when I realised today was Friday and that I had to hand in my journal report on clinicals for the week. Somewhat frustrated, I dashed back to the lab and typed it up.

    Ofcourse, the printer quit working!

    Fuming, I made my way around different buildings till I spotted a friend. Went to her room to print stuff out - her roomate and her b/f were kinda... erm... having a private moment there (which explained why my friend was out of her room). It was so embarrasing! Print job done, I dashed that journal off to my professors office.

    Then while I was sprinting to the bus-stop to catch the bus, I passed by Michael Hall.... and then remembered - I had to submit a leave note to my supervisor!

    ARRRRGH! I skidded to a stop and dashed back into Michael Hall. No surprise, they wouldn't give me a leave note as it was against policy. I KNEW this but my Supervisor had insisted that he needs proof that I was sick last week (maybe next time I'll mail him some phlegm!). So I signed a consent form authorising release of my records if my Super. were to call up.

    I dashed outside in the freezing wind and blowing snow (damned near a blizzard! And I had misplaced my cap so my ears were kinda freezing too!) and caught the bus just as it was leaving.

    In the bus, I realised that I needed to hand in my resume on Monday for class after having career planning check it out. I didn't have the resume with me, but I had it in my mailbox. So, as soon as I got off - I dashed over to my jobsite and wrote up my time sheets. Then I printed out my resume (didn't have to wait in line - perqs of working as a Consultant ) and dashed over to Career Planning. I was waiting around for an hour before someone popped their head in and asked what I was doing here .... and then it hit my mind - they were remodelling and the office had shifted to a temporary location and I had completely forgotten!

    Feeling thoroughly disgusted and frustrated with my absent mind this morning, I slouched off to the new location and got the job done in 5 minutes flat.
    Sounds familiar, yes?

    Someone heard that story and said I was like the 3 stooges all rolled into one
  7. by   VivaLasViejas
    Too funny, Roy!!! And you can't even blame it all on "Midlife Moments" like I get to do.........:wink2:

    What, y'all never heard of midlife moments? That's what it's called when a, ahem, mature person has an episode of brain-fade.

    Well, OK, they're actually called "Senior Moments", but I can't call 'em that when I'm not a 'senior', right? Right? RIGHT?
  8. by   Corvette Guy
    Midlife moments, yet not senior moments? ... what is the age bracket for such a dubious honor?
  9. by   Roy Fokker
    Quote from Corvette Guy
    what is the age bracket for such a dubious honor?
    I think I already qualify :selfbonk:

    Hmm, where's Leslie?
  10. by   VivaLasViejas
    Quote from Corvette Guy
    Midlife moments, yet not senior moments? ... what is the age bracket for such a dubious honor?
    Anything that's at least 10 years beyond the age I am at any given time:wink2:
  11. by   Corvette Guy
    Quote from mjlrn97
    Anything that's at least 10 years beyond the age I am at any given time:wink2:
    LOL, you talking about Midlife, or Senior Moments?
  12. by   VivaLasViejas
    Quote from Corvette Guy
    LOL, you talking about Midlife, or Senior Moments?
  13. by   dianah
    Senior Moments, BAH!

    They're just plain, ordinary, random brain farts. (and everyone has 'em)
  14. by   Corvette Guy
    Well, according to wikipedia.com a mid-life crisis is a condition most common ranging from the ages of 35-50, and affects men and women differently. Mid life crisis last about 3-10 years in men and 2-5 years in women, but length may vary in some people.

    So, I fall into the Midlife moment category.