Joys of Womanhood

  1. i got this email and wanted to share it with my allnurses buddies. the victoria secret thought is my favorite. what's yours?

    joys of womanhood
    brilliant woman author unknown

    women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

    one of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

    my mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.

    the best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

    the nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

    the older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

    just when i was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

    sometimes i think i understand everything, then i regain consciousness.

    i gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

    amazing! you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

    skinny people irritate me! especially when they say things like, "you know, sometimes i just forget to eat."
    now i've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. but i've never forgotten to eat. you have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

    a friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. she had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

    the trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

    i read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. are they kidding? that is my idea of a perfect day.

    i know what victoria's secret is. the secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    ROFLMAO very funny!
  4. by   night owl
    originally posted by rebelwaclause
    skinny people irritate me! especially when they say things like, "you know, sometimes i just forget to eat."
    now i've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. but i've never forgotten to eat. you have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.


    how stupid do you have to be???
    pretty damn stupid...
    Last edit by night owl on Nov 8, '02
  5. by   tattooednursie
    lol! I wisht dat i waz tupid enough to forgyt to EEEEAT, but I nawt that tupid, buy da wae, Huked on foniks weked fur mi. lol
  6. by   MollyMo
    Originally posted by FutureRN_Mandi
    lol! I wisht dat i waz tupid enough to forgyt to EEEEAT, but I nawt that tupid, buy da wae, Huked on foniks weked fur mi. lol

    That goes with "i is edjumacated. i wents to colige."
  7. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    LMAO!
  8. by   baseline
    Ahhhhhhhh yes... hmmmmm.....oh crap I forgot.......
    Ooh yeah! :roll
  9. by   nakitamoon
    Rebel,,,,, thanks for the LMAO!!!!,,, I can so relate to some of them!!,,,, have great day,,,, ~kitamoon
  10. by   cactus wren

    My Goodness.....someone has been following me around.............They ALL fit me to a T.......
  11. by   nurs4kids
    LMAO!!!
  12. by   NurseDennie
    LOL - Rita Rudney is the one who said the bit about "have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat." She may have come up with all of them, I don't know.

    I REALLY love her comedy. She was talking about why she and her hubby don't have kids. Friends have described the horrors of long labors. "I don't even want to do something that feels GOOD for 26 hours!"

    Love

    Dennie
  13. by   micro
    NDennie: Crack me up............LMAO


    I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 26 hours.

    oops, I forgot what I was talking about......where is my hrp, no I mean go hash, no I mean hrp, no what I am talking about.......

    pm and surviving it with a smile :-)
  14. by   Mkue
    So Funny !!! :chuckle author is brilliant :chuckle

    definately the Victoria Secret one is my favorite

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