Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
Actuary - Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
Banker - A fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief".
Mathematician - A blind person in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
Professor - Someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
Schoolteacher - A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked
Statistician - Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the
personality to be an accountant.
Topologist - Someone who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
Jun 12, '03
Thanks for the laugh!!!!!!
Jun 12, '03
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