IMHO...NO YOU WERE NOT WRONG!!!
You -- being the mother of your nine year old daughter -- had every right to protect your child's feelings from the abuse that the adult was making against her, and your Aunt should be very ashamed of herself, and apologize to your daughter for taking a childish approach to dealing with a child's feelings whom she was responsible for during her visit in her home.
If the problem were just between the three children, then I would say, leave them alone a bit to see how they work out their differences, but at their ages???.....come on now...really. BUT
the problem went from being at a child's level to including an adult who was supposed to be a positive example to those three little ones, and she should have modeled good behavior in the children's presence, and should NOT
have instigated a "WHINY SESSION
" between the girls by acting like a bully herself.
Is your Aunt your Mother's sister? If so, the dysfunction is showing, and your Mother and
Auntie are still playing out the dysfunctional teachings that they were more than likely raised to mimic. (See my thread about that on this website). Many adults suffer from this "dysfunctional family syndrome" today, and yesteryear. These same adults carry on the family history of dysfunctional treatment into the current generation of children in the family. Did your Mother and Aunt treat you that way when you were a child? Perhaps you could share your rationale for having picked up your child to those other two kids parent(s) and let them know your Auntie's behavior was very inappropriate for an adult.
I grew up in a "dysfunctional family", so I know how damaging it can be, and how dysfunctional traits can be carried over into the next generation and so forth until someone comes along and says "ENOUGH ALREADY!"
I applaud you for using your heart and intellect in your decision to go pick up your child. It's not up to a child to fight another adult's issues (what your Auntie did to humiliate her, especially in the presence of her two younger cousins). THAT is something you and your Auntie should work out OUT OF THE HEARING RANGE of those small children
. I, personally, would cross Auntie off the list as a child care provider...don't care if she is "family", not all "family" are equipped to care for children. :kiss