is this "too much" or "obsessive" ? (re: going to my son's school)

  1. Background info:

    My son is in his first year of school at a small private school. He's 5. They don't provide lunch, we pack every day. Except on Wednesdays. First Wed of the month is a theme lunch provided by school, second wed is pizza, third is subway, 4th is pizza again (and yes, we do pay for these special lunches).

    Anyhoo, parents are welcome at these lunches, and they specifically say "parents welcome" on the newsletter they send home every week when mentioning hte upcoming lunch. This school really encourages and expects parent involvement, though.

    Well, my hubby works evenings(always home during day), and I work my 3 12's. I try to arrange it so that i'm off on wednesdays so that one of us can go to his school to have lunch with him (2 other kids, so we can't both go, and he can't go when im at work).

    So as it is, we alternate weeks going. We enjoy it. So does he. We don't live far away, so its not inconvenient. Anyhoo, tomorrow is my day to go. I mentioned it to a friend who asked what I was doing tomorrow. (She has a 2 year old in daycare)

    She told me that us going every week was "obsessive" or at least, definitely too much, and asked if any of the other kids' parents came every week. (some do). She said if it was her, that her and her husband would take turns, but they'd only go once a month. Total.

    I know different strokes for different folks, but how can spending a 40 minute lunch w/ my kid once a week when he's gone 5 days a week for 7 hours a day be "too much"?

    OK, vent over. I feel better getting that out!
  2. 28 Comments

  3. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I don't think it's too much. Most parents would love to be able to do it.
  4. by   HappyNurse2005
    Yeah, thats what I thought. If I have the opportunity, why not take it?
  5. by   sirI
    hello, happynurse,

    not at all obsessive. maybe your friend is just a little jealous that she does not have the desire to do this????

    your children are only small for such a short period of time. the day will come when they don't want you to come to things like this.

    i say every wednesday!!! {{{hugs}}}
  6. by   Roy Fokker
    I wish my Father had paid more attention to me as I was growing up.

    You know? Done more "Father and Son" things. My poor overburdened Mother could only do so much.

    Don't get me wrong - I've had a great childhood and my parents slaved to try and see that us kids were rarely short of anything.

    But I can't help but wonder if somethings that I am facing and going through now might have some cause in my early years.

    I'm no parent - but I certainly don't think y'all are being "obsessive". Fancy that! Wanting to have lunch with your kids = obsessive
    Last edit by Roy Fokker on Nov 8, '05
  7. by   ZASHAGALKA
    Hello. HELLO. Your crumbcruncher's FIVE.

    NO amount of time you spend w/ him is too much.

    When someone critiques my actions/thoughts, I normally evaluate 1. whether I value their opinion (before I actually assess the opinion itself) 2. If I value the specific critique. 3. If I value it enough to implement it.

    If at any point I take exception then I let it go.

    I think this is a critique you can safely let go.

    Now, go kiss your crumbcruncher.

  8. by   gauge14iv
    Heh -

    You will NEVER regret going! You might regret not going!

    Trust your heart - most peoples advice is just their opinion (including mine) and we all know what those are worth!!!
  9. by   dianah
    Agree with all who have posted opinions! Go, and go without guilt. Go EVERY Wednesday, if you have the chance. No better feeling or security can you give your child (especially at age 5!!!) than for him to know this is a BIG thing for you, the highlight of your week, being with HIM, in HIS "place of work!"

    Go. Follow your heart and your convictions.
  10. by   Spidey's mom
    No way it is "too much" or "obsessive". My kids all went to a private school that did almost the same thing only we parents came in once a month and cooked a meal for the kids (there were only 15 kids from 1st to 8th grade). The other once a week days they did the same as you, pizza, etc.

    Our school also encouraged parental involvement. We worked as aides in the class. We also dropped in whenever. We had a ski program and was staffed by the parents. We had a fundraiser where the parents, kids and other family members sold homemade apple pies and spent one entire day working in an assembly-line fashion making these pies from apple corers to crust makers, etc. It was so much fun. We also volunteered on the field trips. Private schools are great because you do get the chance to be more involved in your child's education. They WELCOME you.

    Keep going and don't worry about your friend. And listen to all the opinions preceding mine.

  11. by   Roy Fokker
    Arrrgh! It is STILL bugging me. Since when is spending time with your kids considered "obsessive" ?????
  12. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from Roy Fokker
    Arrrgh! It is STILL bugging me. Since when is spending time with your kids considered "obsessive" ?????
    I know - that bugs me too.

  13. by   palesarah
    As long as everyone enjoys it, how could it be a bad thing? I thin kit's wonderful that you mske the effort to stay involved. I remember when I was 8, my mom volunteered for some special theme week at my school and I was thrilled!

    And you know? 20 years later, I still smile thinking about being able to tell my friends that that was my mom helping out, and how it made me feel so special. I bet your son will look back on his kindergarten lunches with mom and dad and feel special, too.
  14. by   babynurselsa
    Well Roy some folks foolishly don't value the time spent with their children, not realizing how fleeting it is. My older daughters and I have such fun memories of me dressing up EVERY year through grade school in my Raggedy Ann costume for their Halloween parties. We were talking about it jus tthe other day.
    There will come a day when that precious 5 year old is not even going to acknowledge that he even has parents, much less wan to eat lunch with them. Enjoy him while you can.