Ok, I don't get it....
When I smoked, my hubby smoked with me. When I quit, he would smoke around me, because I insisted it didn't bother me. If it seemed to bother me, he'd go somewhere else.
Then we moved. The house was smoke-free, and the less I was around smoke, the more I liked it. I asked hubby to please please please not smoke in the house. That was 6 years ago.
He smokes on the screen porch and has never bytched about it. :kiss He enjoys his "quiet time" (in fact, he calls the whole area "his cave" :chuckle ) and we still have plenty of time together. Sometimes I join him out there for coffee or to read the paper or to just enjoy being togther. He smokes about 2 packs a day
and I wish he'd quit but I don't say that to him because he'll quit when he's ready, like I did.
But if I had a serious lung problem such as you're having, and he treated me like your partner is treating you.....well, that goes beyond a smoking issue, IMHO.
She essentially is saying that she has no control over her addiction but doesn't seem to understand that you have no control over your lung condition.
Why? is what I don't get. Both her addiction and your condition are equally compelling physical problems playing pouty games can only hurt your relationship.
You both definitely need to have a chat and work something out before you wind up in the hospital.