Is there a scissors elf?

  1. I was just wondering if there is a scissors elf? I nearly 'lost' my scissors four times whilst on the ward. But instead he/she chose to strike whilst I am at home! I was sat typing a minute ago, and my scissors where on the desk in front of the CPU, and now they are no where in sight. (I have been on my hands and knees looking for them)

    I just hope the elf returns them, as they were/are very usefull. May be the same trick works on the scissors elf as with the stethoscope elf, which I'll chant now before I go to bed and hopefully they will be found in the morning:

    "If my property doesn't magically reappear by the end of the shift, no one leaves on time.
    If my property doesn't magically reappear by the end of the shift, no one leaves on time.
    If my property doesn't magically reappear by the end of the shift, no one leaves on time."
    This usually works best when said by a charge nurse or sister, but as I am at home just me will have to do!
    Last edit by Whisper on Dec 30, '01
  2. 26 Comments

  3. by   trishfish
    My mom used to say that there was a scissors thief in our house growing up. She would ALWAYS lose her scissors. When she sold her house we found 15 pairs of scissors. 5 pairs fell out of her couch when they moved it.

  4. by   babynurselsa
    Must be the same one who steals about 10 of my pens a night.
    My chant is, "If my pen don't come back right now I am going home..."
    In no time I have about 4 pressed right into my hand.
  5. by   hoolahan
    Yes, the scissors elf is kin to the scotch tape elf in my house.

    Since nobody ever admits to taking anything, we have just concluded it must be the dog. (She did just get caught with the evidence of eating a pen, black ink on her paws and face...YUM!)
  6. by   semstr
    o this elf is really fast, traveling overseas and back the whole time, LOL

    We've got a scissors elf, a scotch tape elf, a pen and pencil elf, pencil sharpener elf, in winter there's the gloves elf, sometimes the cap elf comes by and in summer it's the sunglasses elf.
    Favourite elf of my husband: shampoo elf (always flies in and out of the bathroom when he is taking a shower )

    Take care, Renee
  7. by   LilgirlRN
    I really hate that damn elf that comes to my house and gets in the washer and steals one sock out of a set, several times so that I end up with mismatched socks!
  8. by   donmurray
    Now you're talking! I really hate when I've got used to wearing nearly matching ones, then once in a while, a pair turns up!
  9. by   Whisper
    Are socks supposed to match?
    I thought that was just a wierd thing that the ward made us do. It thought it was odd I have so many black socks! Maybe the sock elves don't know where I live
  10. by   NurseDennie
    Well, I'm afraid that there is NOT an elf that's in charge of stealing those things. The objects themselves take advantage of freakish wormholes in the space-time continuum to disappear. These wormholes, I'm convinced, are caused by the tumbling motion of the dryer.

    The only good news in all this, is that on the other side of the wormhole, the scissors, pens, tapes, etc., have set up an enlightened and loving society.


  11. by   Whisper
    Wormholes seem a good idea, I had just finished reading Harry Potter, so rampent house elves seemed a more logical idea.

    The only thing wrong with your theory, is how do the wormholes tell when you are in a rush, and it is the worse time for you to loose something?

  12. by   NurseDennie
    Whisper - it's all a matter of physics. There is an interesting area of physics called the physics of chaos. I was very much drawn to it, until I realized that if I tried to study it seriously, my head would have exploded. But I would have flunked out, first. So I was in no actual danger at any time.

    I think magic is just another field of physics, so you don't have to worry too much about an explanation for it. But I think that the "vibrations" of hurry, worry and anxiety that we put off when we are (see above) hurried, worrying and anxious, contribute to the energy that the wormholes require to be strong enough to grab the really big objects. Or the expensive ones - Like Cellphones!!

    A corollary of this is the fact that in an office setting, the chances of the xerox machine actually working is inversely proportional to the speed with which the copies are needed. I suspect that if scholarly research were done in all settings, additional corollaries would be discovered and easily proved.

    So - sometimes a major search will turn up some of these missing items before they've had time to reach the point of no return in the wormhole in the space-time continuum (how the nursing scissors ended up on top of the refrigerator, etc.). Sometimes it's just too late, and the most you can hope for is for some unfamiliar object to accidentally make its way to you through the same wormhole. Sometimes if it's REALLY important, a fervent prayer to St. Anthony will bring results.


  13. by   NurseDennie
    Oh - an as a post-script, I thought I'd tell you a little bit about the enlightened and loving society that's been created by our "lost" objects on the other side of the space-time continuum.

    Well, I don't actually KNOW anything about it, but why should that little fact stop me. I can envision it quite well. The objects used by nurses the elite members of that society. They are wealthy beyond our wildest dreams, live in luxurious surroundings and are respected and almost worshipped for their experience of just having lived with and helped nurses do their jobs or take care of their families.

    So - although we miss our things, we can be comforted that they're in a nicer place, and quite enjoying themselves.


  14. by   Whisper
    Thankyou for the explination.

    The scissors paradise sounds wonderfull. Perhaps the scissors have heard of it? and rather than stay in the chaos of the ward, they make a run for the nearest wormhole???