thanks for your support...you dont know what it means to me especially since there arent many ppl i can talk to about this.
heather...i think thats pretty much where i am right now...taking care of ME. i know that sounds selfish but i cant be any good to anyone when i have all this hatred festering inside me.
for two years now ive been worried about his self esteem, his feelings...evidentally he doesnt care about anyone but himself.
yeah i know hes a kid but by 12 years he should have SOME sense of responsibility.
im not proud of how i feel but i cant say im ashamed either. ill get over the anger but not yet.
heather...those are the terms that come to my mind too....threat to others and inpatient treatment. i spoke to dad about this last night. he was really upset but he said...whatever it takes...
he still sees him as this innocent little boy. innocent little boys dont threaten to blow up schools
or rape innocent little girls.
it was brutal but i told dad that i doubted jeffery dahmers parents realized what they were raising, or ted bundy's . im sure the parents of the kids who did the killing at columbine realized what their kids are capable of either. and how would that feel to know that YOUR child did that and you had no clue.
do we really know our kids and what they are capable of?
im fairly certain this child has ADD combined with depression. this latest episode has to be enuff to get dad off his ass and get this kid some help.
in no uncertain terms i told him that if this child does not recieve treatment he will not be able to live with me or my girls. i dont want my children raised with insanity. im trying to get them away from their dad who is fairly insane...but thats another story...lol
i liked the suggestion of sending him to stay with other relatives but unfortuantely his relatives live in california and we live in PA. his grandma wants him to come stay with her for a week this summer, she will buy the airline tickets but dad thinks that will only mess him up more (been there done that, his staying with her only made his mental problems worse) i agree with dad.
the school, no doubt is going to expell him. they are saying a 10 day suspension pending other actions. he cant go back to that school. thats a given. he has established himself as a psycho...the priciple had to drive him home from school on that first day as they feared for his safety. the other students are dying to take out the psycho.
i dont see him ever being able to have a good experience in that district. things are already hard enough for him. going back to make his behavior far worse. its going to be home school for the rest of this year and dad will have to work with the school to find another solution for his education.
here in pa we have schools for kids with behavior problems. ..we dont want him going there....he will learn too much.
thanks for letting me vent...its part of my healing you know.
ive just been such a mess...trying to move in a new house, getting my kids straight, trying to cope at work which has been TERRIBLE lately. i have had to call off so many times.
my toe turned black for no reason. incredible pain that made me put my weight on my heel ...guess what? i have bone spurs on my heel and on the side of my foot. i can barely walk at all. went to the er yesterday...they dont know why my toe is black. not gangrene, bone is ok...some kind of inflammatory disease they think. at any rate, i am going to be off all week looks like.
and i missed all my competency testing. god im in so much trouble.
sometimes i feel like im stuck in a whirlpool.
if you have read this far i thank you. its good to get some of this out. preservation of sanity.
love you guys