Important information from Cheerfuldoer - Through a Rapist's eyes

  1. Cheerfuldoer sent me an email saying that she probably wasn't going to be able to be online much this evening, and could I post this for her. I'm happy to do so.



    Subject: thru a Rapist's Eyes

    Through a rapist's eyes (No Joke)

    A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

    The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

    The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
    They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

    The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m. The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.

    The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught. Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

    If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

    These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

    Several defense mechanisms he taught us are:
    If someone is following behind you on a street, or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk, I can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target.

    If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

    If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

    If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.

    After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
    When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

    Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

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  3. by   Robin61970
    If this article has done nothing else but give those of us who read it an edge on a so called rapist then it has been worth it....thanks Cheerful for thinking of us!
  4. by   Cathy Wilson, RN
    Thanks, Dennie, and Renee. This is some great information!:uhoh21:
  5. by   live4today
    ......for posting this for me. Hubby has to work online this evening, so I won't be on the computer until he is finished. He told me he may not be finished until LATE, so I may not be back on for a few hours........hopefully NOT...but his WORK comes FIRST.'s his work that houses and feeds us. :chuckle

    All of you are welcome in regards to the article I asked Dennie to post for me. My nephew's wife emailed it to me this evening, and I wanted to share it with as many women as possible. I look forward to reading this thread when I return to this site.......pray hubby will be finished SOONER than LATER.

    MEN!!!......always hogging the computer from their wives!
    Until later siblings.......(((((((hugs)))))))) :kiss Be safe!
  6. by   Jenny P
    I threw up on a guy in a date rape situation-- that was very effective; and I never drank too much again on a date; nor did I ignore my "gut feelings" again when I was single. (I hadn't felt good about the guy, but he was a friend-of-a-friend and that friend said he was a "nice guy"-- sure; he'd never tried to rape her before!)

    Thanks for the info; I'm going to send it to my dtr for her to post in her college dorm.
  7. by   shygirl
    Thanks Dennie and Renee! I too will send it to my friends.
  8. by   DebsZoo
    Last edit by DebsZoo on Apr 20, '03
  9. by   2ndCareerRN
    A very good article.

    But my take on self protection follows a little different path.

    Get a gun, get training, get a permit to carry concealed if you can, and be prepared to use it in your own defense if needed.

  10. by   bandaidexpert
    Good information. It is a bit scary don't ya think? It's almost like there is a "manual" out there somewhere.
  11. by   fedupnurse
    Excellent info Renee and Dennie. I will download and post it at work. Thanks!!
  12. by   LasVegasRN
    Dang it! I gotta run to choir rehearsal. I'm coming back and reading this pronto!!
  13. by   Mkue
    Thanks, I will surely pass this on
  14. by   Rustyhammer
    I agree with Bob.
    We are rarely unarmed at this house.