I do understand your feeling, sweetie. Will you look up Psalm 91 in your Bible? It may give you a little bit of assurance. You see, when my oldest daughter was 6, she was taken away. I had no idea where she was, and at that age, I also knew she was unable to take care of herself. I felt like an empty shell, and cried volumes of tears too. A few people at church assured me she would be returned. Not feeling it myself, I doubted. But she was returned 11 months later. She didn't remember much about me, because her mind was completely mixed up. she was so traumatized, she got on the floor on her hands and knees, and made animal sounds. She also didn't understand the meaning of love. She would look at inanimate objects and quote, "I love you" over and over again.
It took a lot of prayer and a lot of my showing her the love, the patience, and the wisdom God gave me to get her straightened around. It took a couple years, but I will always remember the break-through. She always had a lot of homework to do, and I sat up with her night after night helping her with it. I had a confrence with her teacher, and she told me the reason Laurell had so much homework was due to her slowness in getting her work done in class. She urged me to push Laurel to speed up. I looked at her and asked, "Which would you prefer? Quality work, or quantity work? Pushing her will only frustrate her even more. I've been working with her on it, and I'm going to let her work at her own pace, and when she catches on. Don't worry; she'll be caught up by the end of the school year. She not only caught up, but she exceeded so well, she was a top student at the end of the school year.
Anyway, the break-through came one night while I was working with her on her homework. She looked at me and said, "I love you, mommy." The bond remains to this day, and we are as close as you and your baby girl are. You already have the most precious thing you can have from her, and she you. It is a bond of love that will never be broken. Hang on to that sweetie, and cherish it, as I'm sure she will.
When Laurell went off to college, I again felt I was losing her, but I didn't. I was still able to spend a lot of time with her on the phone, and even on some weekends at college. After she got her bachelors degree, she attended graduate school in Texas. I knew I was unable to afford a ticket to fly there, so I knew when I saw her again, it would be when she returned home to marry her fiance she had met when she was at Cornell. Yes, I shed numerous tears, because I thought I was going to lose her. How wrong I was. She is currently working on her PHD,and she has been married for 13 years now to her college sweetheart, and they have two precious little girls. The best part is, we all live close together now, and I not only get to see her more often, but I also get to see my beloved son-in-law and my little grandkids a lot. How very blessed I am, because I let my precious little bird spread her wings and fly. Sweetie, I will pray for her protection, claiming Psalm 91 over your little girl, and thanking God for placing guardian angels around her for her protection. God has performed numerous miracles in my life, and He will for you too; you just need to not only believe in Him, but you need to believe Him. He is incapable of lying.
I truly hope this message will encourage you, and give you some comfort.