I'm not doing very well ......

  1. as some of you know from my little kenny rogers post I am now officially "having a break" from my relationship of 7 years.
    I know that its all new and fresh and raw right now and that yeah time heals all wounds etc but I am taking this much worse than I figured I would be..

    it could be because I was definitely not expecting him to suggest taking a break from me.
    some of the things he said were very upsetting , like the rationale for the whole break thing was "well youre so busy and stressed with work and school" yes he's right I am , but I'm not a basketcase 24/7 about it and how is leaving me when I just might need you the most a good thing to do ?
    I feel cheated out of a good explanation for all of this, I know that this relationship stuff is tricky at best but come on , Investing 7 years with the same person was a major miracle for the both of us to have done and this is what its come down to?
    I feel empty, theres no other way to put it....
    my mom who is wonderful is trying her best to help and is worried about me , bless her heart, but nothing can seem to get me distracted even momentarily...
    everyone including myself thought that we would be the 2 to make it , when other relationships failed we would muse to ourselves that it was so great to have a wonderful relationship like the one we have....errrr had

    I'm sorry , I know no one likes a party pooper or someone who is down all the time , but I've never really been in this situation before, I cant imagine getting through this for a long long long time... I have to work and go to school and be productive and how I'm going to do that is a mystery to me.......
    I know we all change, and grow ,relationships end new ones begin , the circle of life etc but I feel broken...
    just , broken.
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  2. 39 Comments

  3. by   kavi
    It's never easy, that's for sure. Someone once told me that "If it's meant to be, you will end up back together when the time is right." I really believe that.

    Meanwhile, there's a reason for all those sad love songs and singing the blues. The pain is incredible, and the songs try to express that.

    This helped me after my last painful breakup. Tear up a bunch of pieces of paper. Write on each one, something about how you feel. About what you will miss. What you fear will never be because this has ended. And so on. Then seal the jar. Put it away, bury it, whatever. It's all there, it's not gone. It's just in the jar. It sounds silly, but it kind of helped the grieving process.

    Best of luck. Kavi
  4. by   christianRN
    ((wendy)) I'm so sorry. No great words of wisdom here. Just know we all hope you are your happee self very soon!
  5. by   Hidi74
    Breathe and take it one step at a time......as the song says " breathe in - breathe out, put one foot in front of the other , take one day at a time " I know it sounds corny but thats all you can do is make it through one moment at a time.......Thats all that has gotten me throught the last couple of months!!! Im sending good thoughts your way!!!!:kiss :kiss :kiss :kiss
  6. by   nurseman
    My heart goes out to you.

    If I could say anything to lessen the pain believe me I would. Make sure you take time to morn
    this loss in your life. Make sure you also take time to be a productive individual. Don't worry
    about appearing to be a party pooper. You have contributed much wisdom to this group and it
    your turn to get some help. Feel free to PM me anytime you wish. (I would have offered sooner
    but I didn't read the Kenny Rogers thread because it referred to a country song)

    I'll leave you with the words my mother told me when I was having my first s life altering beak up
    Always remember that you are a great person and that this is not the end of the world it just feels
    like it.

    Shane
  7. by   Jenny P
    Wendy, I posted on your other thread and then did a search and finally found this thread of yours from about 1 1/2 months ago:
    http://allnurses.com/forums/showthre...059#post218059

    Maybe, just MAYBE, you were aware of this back then. Maybe, just MAYBE, this is something that will allow you to check out the other guy? Or maybe, just MAYBE, you will be free enough to go out and meet someone else? And please read Kevin's advice here. He is wise when he talks about the fact that he was a pr*#k when he was younger. Lots of guys are that way when young; then they grow up and find out what they lost. Or they grow up and finally get some sense in that vacuum between their ears..
  8. by   dianah
    Shane, you speak the loving truth.

    Wendy, no one expects you to do "well" at this time. Just do what you can, as others have posted. One breath at a time, one step at a time. Baby steps.

    Wish I, too, could do something to lessen the pain. -- D
  9. by   BadBird
    Wendy,
    I wish I had some words to cheer you up but unfortunately I just don't. A break up is always painful and I don't think anyone can escape it, just know that many have been through what you are feeling and in time the pain will fade away. 7 years may seem like a long time to you but it happens at 25 years too. Sometimes life just isn't fair, we don't get out of a relationship what we put into it. I just hope that you will meet someone who will love you the way you deserve to be, in the mean time learn to love yourself, put yourself first, try to see the good in all situations. Big {{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Feel better soon.
  10. by   delirium
    Wendy, honey, I'm sorry.

    All break ups are somewhat traumatizing, regardless of who initiates them. I wish I could do something for you.

    I won't offer any trite advice here, but if there's anything I can do, please PM me.
  11. by   Tweety
    Hugs. Don't apologize, you're allowed to be down right now.

    Best wishes.
  12. by   hapeewendy
    thanks again my friends, on my first official day of what I would guess you could call being single I have to say that I sounded pretty awful in my initial post here. It *is* how I'm feeling right now, but I do have the insight to realize that people have far bigger fish to fry and that we have all loved and lost at one point or another....

    obviously I miss my boyfriend, the arms around me, the hand to hold, the shoulder to lean on , the fact that I never had to worry about finding a date for some get together, the feeling of being completely comfortable without having to say a word...

    but more than that I feel like I've lost a friend, a person who has given me much support in the past, a person who wanted to subject himself to me daily, a person who could make me laugh in oh about 3.5 seconds

    which is partly why a little anger is coming to the surface now (angreewendy!?), its the lack of closure that is so annoying, I'm not a big fan of this "lets take a break" stuff, not at this stage of this relationship anyway, I feel cheated out of a good break up damnit (just kiddin there) I have got to stay at least a little bit like myself...

    anyway the point of this rambling was to thank you again for your kind words and support
    u know it means a heck of a lot, no wonder when I hit the lil home button on my netscape browser it brings me to this site........
  13. by   SmilingBluEyes
    You invested a lot of yourself into this relationship so you have the right to feel the way you do.....Having been there, I can feel your pain, Wendy. I have no great wisdom to add here, I just wish to lend my support and an ear. And an open heart too.......Take good care of yourself. You deserve no less.
  14. by   semstr
    Hi Wendy,

    sorry you have to go through this.
    It is a path a lot of us here know very well, unfortunately, but fortunately for you, we know how you hurt right now!
    So please, keep on posting here, even when you won't get straight answers to the why's, we will feel with you.
    (((((((((Wendy))))))))))))))) Take care of yourself, do something nice, like eating chocolate or so?
    Renee

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