I'm just a mass of anxiety lately

  1. I keep making med errors, mostly not catching new meds started. And I don't like it. So I started a thread about it and people are mad that I confessed that I'm not good at details.

    Meanwhile DH and I have decided to move back downstate because our family is nowhere near and no one is visiting. However, we don't have the money to even think about it for at least a year, and now everyone in my family is calling with properties we should see and suggestions like "so you take a loss and sell fast." Hey, real cavalier with our money. And pressuring us to do it like yesterday. Not to mention that we are just a car ride away. 5 1/2 hours. It's not like we're in Beirut.

    Then my brother, who's with USAID, gets the news that he's being shipped back to Iraq for a year. I'm having a heart attack. (He lives in Cairo now with his family, and he's one of the ones who thinks WE live too far from our folks!)

    I lost my sweet old cat Tigger two weeks ago. No diagnosis, just liver failure we think and then he died.

    I'm doing the RN online and I'm paralyzed.

    I don't know what's wrong. I do know that I hate doing meds and the anxiety it produces spills over into other things. Which isn't to say that I'm not a bundle of neuroses anyway.
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  2. 22 Comments

  3. by   Tweety
    It's understandable with all that's going on that you would be anxious and unfocused. I'm sorry about your cat.

    Stop, take a breath, try to relax and take a look at what's in front of you right now. Is there anything you can do about all of that stuff right now? If not, then enjoy the moment. If there's something you should be doing, break it down into one task and put one foot in front of the other, and don't think about the rest of the "stuff".
  4. by   SuesquatchRN
    Thanks, Tweety. I'm trying to be all Zen-like and "be here now," but I kinda need Xanax to manage that.

    It's finally nice out here - a good run would help.
  5. by   Tweety
    Yes, a good run is exactly what you should do!
  6. by   VivaLasViejas
    Sounds to me like you've got an awful lot on your plate right now.

    Sometimes you just have to take a little time away from the rat-race, step back, and look at everything that's complicating your life before you can get rid of what isn't serving you well. If there's any possible way you can get some vacation time, you might want to consider doing so; as a burnout survivor myself, I can see you are getting close to the edge, but not so close that you can't pull yourself back with some R&R. Even a week off---to do only whatever makes you feel good---may be enough to refresh and rejuvenate you.

    Also, don't allow your family to bully you into taking financial risks that you aren't ready to take. NO ONE has the right to demand that of you. If you do decide to move, do it on your own terms!

    I'm sorry about the loss of your poor kitty. Please allow yourself time to mourn, and don't let anyone tell you it's not that big a deal. I've noticed that folks who don't have an affinity for animals can sometimes be unintentionally cruel about the loss of our pets, which IMHO are not "like" members of the family, but ARE members of the family. You have every right to grieve, to feel sad, and take as long as you need to in order to get through the process of healing.

    When it rains, it pours, doesn't it? I hope everything starts looking up for you soon.
  7. by   TazziRN
    {{{Sue}}}
  8. by   SuesquatchRN
    Thanks.

  9. by   SmilingBluEyes
    You have a FULL plate. Try to tackle each thing only as it comes up....and take time to do little things to bring you joy and de-stress. If that means a long hot bath with candles for light, so be it. A walk in the woods, go for it. A chocolate sundae, DO IT.

    Take care of YOU so you can take care of all that comes down the pipe at you. I wish you the best.
  10. by   SuesquatchRN
    Thanks, buddies.

    Well, DH and I have started cleaning the yard for a barbecue tonight, and I'm whittling away at the laundry and household disaster a load at a time.

    Now I'm going to go and weed my front walk flowerbeds.

  11. by   DutchgirlRN
    (((((((Sue))))))) God Bless you Honey. Been there, done that, whole other sets of problems but also all at once. I've been frozen like that. I think some of it was actually the stress but other aspects of it had to do with menopause and depression. I was found great relief by seeing my doctor who did blood work and put me on Premarin & Zoloft. If it doesn't let up it may be time to see the doctor. Try to relax and be good to yourself whenever and wherever possible.
  12. by   SuesquatchRN
    Quote from DutchgirlRN
    (((((((Sue))))))) God Bless you Honey. Been there, done that, whole other sets of problems but also all at once. I've been frozen like that. I think some of it was actually the stress but other aspects of it had to do with menopause and depression. I was found great relief by seeing my doctor who did blood work and put me on Premarin & Zoloft. If it doesn't let up it may be time to see the doctor. Try to relax and be good to yourself whenever and wherever possible.
    I'm on Lexapro, DutchGirl, which helps a whole lot. You don't want to imagine me without it!



    Oh, and we decided that we just might not move at all. We like it here, although there are things we miss about being in a more urban area, but then, there are things we don't. Unless someone's gonna give us the down payment we're sitting tight until WE can COMFORTABLY even think about it.
  13. by   DutchgirlRN
    I'm glad you and dh have made that decision, that's one thing to scratch off your list.
  14. by   indigo girl
    I am truly sorry about the loss of your kitty. It really hurts to lose someone you love.

    It's good that you are staying put for now. You live in a beautiful area, and spring is upon us. Gardening if you enjoy it, is relaxing and satisfies the spirit. Get some sunlight on your skin. The Vitamin D you'll be making this way is very relaxing, and good for you in small amounts.

    Med errors can occur when we get distracted by our emotions. You do have a lot going on. Take some time off for you, and be good to yourself.

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