I'm going crazy

  1. Well, i just need to vent. I graduated from nursing school in June 2002, and moved approx 3 hrs away from family to work, and to get my BSN. My fiance moved with me and was excited about starting a new life. He is not close with his family and had no reason to stay where he was. Anyhow, once we moved i became very stressed out, and realized that i didn't think he was the man i wanted to marry. I love him so much but our relationship seemed to be unhealthy. We depended on each other too much. So, I broke off the engagement and told him i needed a break. He is not taking it well, and i hate seeing him in pain. I am so confused about whether i made the right decision.

    Of course, there was a little bit more to it that led to my decision, but it is so bizarre that i'll just leave it at that.

    I just found out yesterday that i passed my boards, and its hard being here in a new town with no friends, and no one to celebrate with. I don't want to go back to my ex for the wrong reasons (not wanting him to hurt, lonliness, etc...)

    I don't start work for another 3 wks. I'll be working in a level III NICU. I figure once i get to work and start school i won't have time to sit around worrying about these things.

    Anyhow, just needed to get that off my chest.
    Last edit by Christel2Rn on Jul 27, '02
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  2. 7 Comments

  3. by   eltrip
    Christel, first, congrats on passing your boards! I'm proud of you!

    I remember what it's like being in a new town & breaking up with a fella. No fun & feels like crud. I'm no expert, so I don't know if I have any viable solutions to share.

    Sending you a hug on this steamy Saturday night,
    (((((((Christel2Rn)))))))

    all the best,
    Joy
  4. by   eltrip
    Forgive me, I know that this is serious, but when I first read the title of this thread, I thought, "Going crazy? Hmmm, for me that's a short trip!"

    I will now go sit in my corner. Another short trip for eltrip!
  5. by   live4today
    ((((Christel2rn)))))) Embrace the good of the relationship and store it in your memory bank. Jot down on paper all the things that were "not good or positive" about the relationship, and hang that list where you will be constantly reminded WHY loving and caring for someone does NOT mean you staying in a "dead end" relationship...therefore, you breathe in.....breathe out slowly.......say goodbye to the relationship.....and move on. :kiss

    Looking back, getting all emotional over something that isn't "solid" for you in the long run will only cause you to REgress instead of PROgress. Wish the boyfriend well in his life and stick to what you know is best for the both of you in the long run. Breaking up is only hard when we allow our feelings to block our critical thinking pathway that strongly indicates to us...in our gut...that we need to LET GO and MOVE ON with our life.

    Do I have experience enough to tell you this? You damn skippy I do. Feel better...have a vanilla coke...a Pespi to feel younger...a Pizza full of double doses of cholesterol....I mean cheese.....eat a Snicker's candy bar to get you through the day.....drink a beer......a root beer that is....so you can belch all that stuff back up in bubble form after consuming it nicely by stuffing your face and belly. Then.....go swallow a couple tablespoons of Pepto Bismol (if you aren't allergic to it), follow it with a warm cup of milk, and go to bed listening to a tape or CD that the two of you NEVER listened to together. GET RID OF ALL THAT "Oh we loved to dance to this or that song" crap. That, too, will hold you back emotionally. Build a life for yourself and focus on what is HEALTHY for you. You are a RN now, just starting out, and have so much to experience. If you start to feel down again about letting go of the BF....send me a "PM" and I'll be glad to give you a swift kick in the beefcakes to help clear your emotional bank of all that old stuffy mushy "I miss him...I need him...I FEEL so sorry for him" stuff! :kiss
  6. by   Rena RN 2003
    sorry things seem so uncertain for you right now. keep your eye on your goals. cheerful has wonderful advice. wish i had had someone to give me those words of wisdom about 4.5 years ago.
  7. by   Love-A-Nurse


    the question to me is, why when the move happened did you feel this way? i do wish you all the best and again, congratulations, christel r.n!
  8. by   Christel2Rn
    I think i thought of it before the move, but thought that the stress of nursing school was causing the problems. I felt that once we moved this would resolve. We were entirely to dependent on one another and once we moved this hit me like a ton of bricks. Plus once the nursing school stress resolved, i then had the NCLEX stress. I think i just need to concentrate on starting my career and finishing school. I just hope i'm not leaving behind some of the important things. Love.
  9. by   Love-A-Nurse
    originally posted by christel2rn
    i think i thought of it before the move, but thought that the stress of nursing school was causing the problems. i felt that once we moved this would resolve. we were entirely to dependent on one another and once we moved this hit me like a ton of bricks. plus once the nursing school stress resolved, i then had the nclex stress. i think i just need to concentrate on starting my career and finishing school. i just hope i'm not leaving behind some of the important things. love.
    christel, sometimes people are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a life time.

    you have to step back and see what makes you happy. i would consider the pros and cons of where you want your life to go and only then would i put this with what your significant other wants out of life. once this is resolved, then it is time for communication between the two. if at all possible, if you two decide to part from each other, don't let bitterness be the factor.

    this may not seem significant or you may not chose to answer, but what does he do for a living? at the end of your last post, i here guilt and to this i say, you don't have to make excuses to leave someone you "love" to find yourself and the love of your life. be kind to yourself and all the best to you.

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