I'm feeling blue!

  1. (sigh)
    I had a pretty good day at work even though the politics were kind of heavy today.
    When I got off and picked up my kids, they were bickering and yelling at each other. I tried to pick them up but they continued and I blew up at them saying, "I can't see why you guys have to wreck MY day with all your fighting".
    I drove home in silence.
    I began to think about how I never have time for myself anymore. I'm always taking care of everyones problems...at work, at home, friends.
    I question my parenting ability and if I am making the right choices in how I raise my kids etc...
    (sigh)
    Now I suppose I should snap out of it and go hug my kids and start fixing dinner but I think I'll just wallow in my self doubt a while longer.
    Welcome to my (self) pity-party!

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  2. 53 Comments

  3. by   jevans
    ohhh rustyhammer

    please don't be blue be pink instead. its such a happy colour!!!!!!!!

    count to ten put some great music on and chill, speak to us
    then make up with the kids. they love you anyway and know you are not mean. all our kids put us to the limit after work sometimes

    best wishes
    j:kiss
  4. by   knowlegzseekr
    ((((hugs)))))
    sorry you're feeling blue, looks like you need to take some time for yourself. You need a break.
  5. by   LasVegasRN
    Awww, Rusty! Not feeling your usual sparkling spunky self can be a bummer. I have it from great authority that you are an awesome Dad, and no shame in feeling blue sometimes. I'm quite sure you are always taking care of others problems because they feel you are so good at it! Yes, we nurses are great at it, but we end up being tapped dry every now and then.

    Take some time for yourself, relax, and know you're loved by all your auspicious and adoring fans here on allnurses! :kiss
  6. by   kelligrl
    You need a night off...relax, drink a few cold ones and not take care of anyone but Russell for a little while...it'd probably do you some good...
  7. by   hoolahan
    ((((((((Rusty)))))))) If you didn't quetion if you were doing a good job as a parent, that is a sure sign you aren't!! You are perfectly normal, and human!!! It is normal to doubt yourself. Yes we are the grownups, we should be able to control our tempers, but we're human too.

    My therapist said, it's fine to blow up once in a while, just tell them you're sorry, when you are. To this day if my mother had only said she was sorry for some of the things she did and said that hurt me deeply, we would be in a whole different place now. My grandmother, who muct have taught her everything she knows just told me she told her doctor, also my doctor, I am treating her like a 2 year-old. I'm sorry I tried to help you, remind me to never do that again!! (Sorry, I digress, I just got off the phone w her, can you tell?? Grrrrr!!!)

    When you say you're sorry, and you mean it, they will feel your sincerity, and it is yet just another way they learn by your example how to be a decent person.

    You're OK Rusty, it's the rest of the world that's screwed up! :kiss
  8. by   Jenny P
    Life can be such a pain sometimes for us nurses/parents/humans!

    My solution used to be to go out and dig in the garden--take out your frustrationon those darn weeds! You can pull them out and rip their heads and hearts (roots) to pieces and end up feeling better and with a great looking garden to boot! Now that I'm allergic to bee stings; I'm more cautious (but it still feels good!).

    Remember, Rusty, this too shall pass.
  9. by   CATHYW
    Rusty, I imagine you are through wallowing by now. Doesn't it feel a little bit good (in kind of a weird way) to wallow in self-pity sometimes?

    Your kids are probably just being kids, and you are probably a great Dad. Howsomever, even Dads need their time and space sometimes. Get the little buggers to bed tonight, and take a lawn chair (and bug spray, if you need it) and sit outside and look at the stars. Remember when you were a kid, doing that, and couldn't imagine being the age you are now. Let your mind wander. I'll bet you'll feel better, if the bugs leave you alone! LOL!
    Hugs to you!
  10. by   andrewsgranny
    ((((hugs))) to you. Sorry for the youck feeling. I know what you mean though. Sometimes we get so fixed on fixing everything.
    We fix the patients, we fix the Dr's we fix the kids, the dinner the clogged drain.. the list goes on and on and we never feel like we have time for ourselves. Sometimes we even have to rush through a shower. But we are flesh and blood and it is our nature to fix everything. And we could change all that. But we would be miserable people. When you have a patient or a Dr. that says thanks, or you get a big hug from the kids. Its all worth it. And tomorrow will be a new day.
    Hang in there. We've all been there and will be again.
    Last edit by andrewsgranny on Jul 30, '02
  11. by   Q.
    Rusty,

    I have found, when feeling overwhelmed and torn in all directions to just MAKE yourself take some time to just wallow in self-pity. I've heard all that before, yes, that self-pity is bad, etc. But hell, sometimes it feels just so damn GOOD!

    I know by your posts that you are an intelligent guy who has his head on straight, so a pity party for a coupla days isn't going to traumatize you or your kids for that matter.

    Like last night; I have 2 quizzes to complete plus read 2 chapters AND do a paper and a couple of homework problems. I started to do them last night and finally said...SCREW IT and sat outside on our recently finished cobblestone patio, listened to the crickets and had a Bombay Sapphire and tonic. It felt pretty good. Went to bed early and feel a TAD better.

    Despite your feeling like this, you still managed to post a kind and well-meaning post to me about my dad, and for that I adore you. You deserve a night (or two) just doing whatever you want for a while. Hell, I might even want to come!
  12. by   Rustyhammer
    I am sooo embarassed about my post but now that I've read the responses I also feel good to know that I have someone HERE to talk to when there is no one else around.
    I apologize for bringing you into my self pity party but I DO feel a bit better.
    Thank you my friends.
    -Russell
  13. by   Sleepyeyes
    OK.....I confess

    Every time I look at your avatar, I feel better. Know why?

    It makes me daydream about horseback riding into the mountains and fishing all day and paddling a canoe and making s'mores over the campfire at night, and going to sleep listening to the owls and staring at the stars......
    *sigh*
    I hope you can get some time to relax and get back to your mellow self soon.
    ((((hugs)))))
  14. by   Rustyhammer
    Sleepyeyes,
    That is such a good suggestion.
    I'm going to go saddle up my mare and go for a ride.
    See you all later.
    -Russell

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