I Thought i had found The One

  1. And i found out today that it wasn't.

    He's not ready for dating, i know that. He had a divorce over a year ago, and htere's plenty to recover from that.

    And tried very hard to fight it, but i fell for him anyway. I love everything about him, i wanted to be with him. I was so happy to have him in my life.

    He never mistreated me, cheated on me, etc. Perhaps if he had, this would be easier.

    It is very hard to sit up and do any school work. It's a struggle to try and clean up my house, but if i sit down, all i do is think about it all. The pain is so bad, i feel it in my chest and throat.

    No, i won't do anything stupid. I'm just having a very hard time right now trying to focus on anything but how bad i hurt right now, how much it hurts to know that i'll never hear from him again, never hold him again. I know eventually i'll heal from this, but till then, it's just absolute emotional hell.
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  2. 36 Comments

  3. by   jnette
    Oh Marie....................... I'm so very sorry.

    Truly.. so very sorry. I can feel the pain in your words.

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))
  4. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I'm waiting for my dad to get home so i can call and talk to him. I feel like i'm at such a loss, i don't even know how i'm going to get through work tomorrow. I'm tempted to call in sick, just because i FEEL sick, yet all i'll do if i do that is lay around and think about him, which will just make things worse.
  5. by   weetziebat
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. It hurts just to read your post. Knowing you'll eventually heal doesn't do anything to stop the pain you are now feeling. Having been through something similar myself, I know how much it hurts. And how distracted it makes you feel. Lots of :icon_hug:and :kiss
  6. by   BabyRN2Be
    Oh Marie, I'm so sorry. (((((hugs))))) I, too, can feel the pain in your words. Hopefully your dad will get home soon so you can talk. In the mean time, take care of yourself... so sorry that this happened.
  7. by   UM Review RN
    It's been a long time since I wore those shoes, Marie, but I remember that it hurt. It hurt a lot.

    Thank God for supportive family and friends.

    You have friends here, remember that. :icon_hug:
  8. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I got a friend that's taking me out for chicken wings tonight, but i swear it's such a struggle to even comb my hair to get ready. But i have to go, sitting around here isn't helping at all.

    Part of me feels like i HAVE to get up and function in order to get through this.

    Part of me is just tired of feeling like this, going through this, and hurting so much.
  9. by   jnette
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    I got a friend that's taking me out for chicken wings tonight, but i swear it's such a struggle to even comb my hair to get ready. But i have to go, sitting around here isn't helping at all.

    Part of me feels like i HAVE to get up and function in order to get through this.

    Part of me is just tired of feeling like this, going through this, and hurting so much.
    You WILL have to get up and fuction, Marie. If you don't you know you will only sink deeper into that dark abyss of despair.

    It WON'T be easy, and you'll feel like you're in never never land while you're out tonight with your friend, but it is still better than wasting away in your place alone.

    We all know there is nothing we can say or do to ease your pain, that this is something you will have to work through on your own in your own time.. and we DO know how very painful it is. Most of us have been there at some point in our lives.

    But all we can do is BE HERE for you, and hope that knowing we care about you and your present misery is at least some tiny bit of comfort to you.

    Come and cry here all you want and need to... that in itself is therapeutic.

    Again... gentlest of (((HUGS))), my friend.
  10. by   Stitchie
    I'm so very sorry about your situation, Marie. You've had a rough go of it lately, it seems.

    Staying active is a very positive, sane, rational response on your part. It feels awful to go thru this time of experience, but keep in mind that your will feel better, sooner or later.

    From personal experience, I can say that I had my heart and life shattered by someone who looked good on paper. We dated for the better part of a year -- started making wedding plans, even. His mother found out about our wedding plans, and she decided her "little boy" (who was 35, a pharmacist, and living at home) wasn't ready 'for such a step'.

    I thought I'd never recover (that was in July of some year last century). Smiling felt wrong. Laughing felt as if I were speaking a foreign language. I took long, long bike rides (dropped 30 lbs, even) and eventually pulled my life back together.

    There is a better situation waiting for you. Believe in that, and you will get through anything.
  11. by   donsterRN
    Marie, I am so very sorry you're in such pain. Please know that your friends here care very much about you, and I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you.
  12. by   SouthernLPN2RN
    I am so sorry you are going through this!!
  13. by   elizabells
    Oh, sweetie. My heart hurts for you. I will eat some chocolate in your honor.
  14. by   Katnip
    I'm so sorry, Marie. It's ok to wallow in your grief for a bit. Just don't make it a long-term habit. Do make sure you stay in touch with others and let them drag you out sometimes.

    You know the expression One Day at a Time? Well sometimes you'll have to take it one breath at a time. But you will get through this.

    {{{{Marie}}}}

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