I REALLY could use some ideas.....

  1. ok here is the scoop....have 3 little kids and a fulltime night job....hubby stays home and watches the kids. (for which i am ever thankful) but we have not been out together in almost 3 years. the night after the one time we did manage to get out for awhile, i discovered i was expecting...i need some interesting, fun, daring, crazy, regular, any ideas on how to, in advance, plan some sort of weekend or trip (and can probably arrange for mom to stay with the kids) with him before i crack up. he has become a home body and i imagine it will be up to me to do this ( in my spare time)..would love if you could share experiences and advice with me before this sinking ship has sunk! calling all nurses! did i mention i have a birthday coming up soon and it is a big one (gulp) 45...i need a break and i need it fast....( if i appear a bit bereft here, it's because i am)
  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   nursedawn67
    Hi, I work nights too, my hubby and I try to have a "date" several times a month. this "date" my just be going out to lunch or to dinner or just running to the department store for something, but it is time alone to talk and be together. Even if we do not have a bunch of money we try to eek some out.
  4. by   MollyJ
    Weekend get aways should reflect what you and he like to do in your lives as a couple--you know, BEFORE you had kids.

    John Rosemond says that the marriage preceded the children and it should also suceed the children SO you should routinely feed your relationship. Still my hubby and I are a little like you and yours. we have one kid, both work and we don't typically take time away to leave him--we've all been a part all day.

    With little kids, mostly pre-school you must feed the relationship.

    Cheap lunch (but not fast food--it's too much like stuff it down and get going--also somewhere you'd take the kids) this can be sandwiches to go (or a picnic) in a park or just a little restaurant spot.

    Cheap lunch and an afternoon matinee. Like an afternoon date.

    Again, spring off of your interests! Hubby and i did a day trip to a "treasures of the czar" museum display when son was little. Took most of the day to drive there and back, adult activity and adult conversation.

    A day trip to another town. Hubby and I sometimes just go away to a town about 1 1/2 hour away, shop, talk, eat.

    Sometimes we do a late afternoon trip to a local coffee shop without the kid. These are quick but still renewing.

    For the longer weekend:
    Go with your pre-kid interests:
    Bed-and-breakfast if that's your style--you can go to the city or the country with this choice
    A trip to the big city if you live near one OR just move into a luxury or nice hotel for the weekend; they often have weekend packages.
    there's nothing like a trip to really force you to leave things behind so an overnight trip to a historical place, a place you've heard others talk about, etc.

    If you are close to the beach, you can't beat the beach for the get away feeling.

    Don't over plan the time. If he likes to fish or read and you like to solo shop, leave some time for that. See a movie or a play. Plan on one nice "Splurge" meal.

    Good luck.
  5. by   nightingale
    Do something sweatie. Do something regularly (at least once a month). (((mother/babyRN).

  6. by   aimeee
    We have done a couple of overnight getaways to B&B's within an hours drive of home. Beyond the reservation, we don't plan our time. We leave it serendipitous. Just being together and having uninterrupted conversations is such a treat! Walks, getting ice cream cones, seeing a movie that isn't animated, checking out a shop we have always wondered about but didn't have opportunity to stop at...
  7. by   mother/babyRN
    I love all those ideas (even the sweaty part)...We have interlopers at home such as kids and pets....(funny how the cat just knows we want to be alone... ) We live in a resort community so I love the idea of a big city get away..Before kids, he was sailing all the time in the military and now, as he is home most of the time, I am trying to figure out how to plan something to surprise him that he won't discover! Please keep the ideas coming. .You all have NO IDEA how much I appreciate them!xxoo
  8. by   CountrifiedRN
    How about one of those cruise ship packages for a weekend? That has always appealed to me, and I hope to go on one with my hubby after school is over.

    Whatever you decide to do, I hope you both have a wonderful time!
  9. by   live4today
    Any possibility of changing shifts? I use to work the nightshift, and it interfered with the marital union quite a bit, so I gave it up for per diem work.

    If you can't switch to a job or shift more conducive for you to have romantic downtimes with your hubby (in the evenings/nights), then perhaps you two could plan a picnic for two - pack a basket of food, wine - take along some soft music to the park, throw down the blanket and get cozy. If you live near a lake or beach - picnic there. Go to an amusement park during the day without the kids so you two can act like kids again while you enjoy one another's company. Take in a lunch and movie during the day. Go to a day spa together for a body massage, then a swim in the pool, then play a little tennis or go bowling, or whatever sport you two like to do. Walk through an Art Museum holding hands as you view the art work there. Go to the local zoo where they have picnic areas the two of you can be alone at. Or, stay at home - without the kids present of course - and plan your own romantic environment there. Have some Chinese food delivered and lay out in your back yard or on the living room/family room floor while listening to music as you eat and converse with one another, then get up and dance to the music... I have tons of ideas for you. Just ask! :kisses and (((hugs))) to you both! Best of everything to you!
    Last edit by live4today on Apr 28, '02
  10. by   mother/babyRN
    Thankyou thankyou thankyou..I LOVE all your ideas.....Hugs right back! Night shift for now as I am the breadwinner and daddy is stay at home for now.....There IS light at the end of the tunnel...Thank God for nurse pals........xxxooo to all who helped me out!
  11. by   Agnus
    how bout a hot air baloon ride. Oh and at some point you have to eat, but only with one fork, one plate, so you must feed each other ;-). (2 glasses of wine)
    Last edit by Agnus on May 1, '02
  12. by   LilgirlRN
    Where are you mom/baby?